Your therapist's relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don't communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session.
Clients often wonder if their therapists think about them outside of session. The short answer is, yes. When we see something that may benefit you, we make a mental note of it to share with you later. This can literally be anything.
We tend to bring thinking in after and between the sessions, as we drill down deeper into what we learned and experienced, and how this could inform how we work with you in future. Then we might reflect upon theory and current psychological thinking and how it might apply.
There's no rule that says that you can't contact a therapist in between sessions.
Your therapist's relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don't communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session.
An obvious sign of transference is when a client directs emotions at the therapist. For example, if a client cries and accuses the therapist of hurting their feelings for asking a probing question, it may be a sign that a parent hurt the client regarding a similar question/topic in the past.
Friendship after therapy is more likely than romance.
According to new research, 72 percent of therapists surveyed felt friendship toward their clients. 70 percent of therapists had felt sexually attracted to a client at some point; 25 percent fantasized about having a romantic relationship.
It's not uncommon for therapists to have feelings for clients, and vice versa—call it transference, countertransference, or something else. But we have to remember that it's the therapist's job to meet the client's therapeutic needs and goals, not the therapist's own personal or professional wants and needs.
Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you're not alone in thinking you've disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you've overshared and talk it over with your therapist.
The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It's a good idea to share as much as possible, because that's the only way they can help you.
Other things to avoid during a therapy session include: asking about other confidential conversations with other clients; showcasing violent emotions; or implying any romantic or sexual interest in your therapist. The number one job of a therapist is to keep you safe and protect their clients' privacy.
The last thing you want during your therapy sessions is to worry that your therapist is bored, not paying attention, or tired of you. If you're leaving therapy feeling disappointed, you're tense during your sessions, or your therapist keeps yawning, this may indicate that your therapist is tired of you.
While not common, a friendship can develop when you've finished therapy. There are no official rules or ethical guidelines from either the American Psychological Associated or American Psychiatric Association regarding friendships with former clients.
So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. Sometimes it feels like falling in love. Transference is completely natural and normal, and it can enhance the experience of therapy significantly.
"Generally, it is good etiquette not to ask your therapist any personal questions about them, but to just let the therapists decide when it is appropriate to share," she says. But, if you do blurt out a probing question, your therapist will likely just switch gears in the conversation.
There may be times when your therapist discusses your situation with other therapists or their supervisor, which is known as consultation, but even in those situations, the therapist is obligated to keep your identity and privacy as much as possible.
Erotic transference refers to feelings of romantic love or sexual fantasies that a client experiences for their therapist. As with any difficult feelings experienced in therapy, the key to working through these feelings is talking about them; however, it can feel almost impossible to do so.
APA Standard 10.08(b) starts: Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients even after a 2-year interval except in the most unusual circumstances.
All well trained therapists are aware of transference and countertransference and should be comfortable bringing the dynamics up, when they sense that there is some form of transference happening.
But there is also a distinct concept of projection—also associated with Freud and psychoanalysis—that means attributing one's own characteristics or feelings to another person. In transference, one's past feelings toward someone else are felt toward a different person in the present.
The transference in traumatised clients does not reflect a simple dyadic relationship but rather a triad. The therapist when working with the client will often feel the presence of the shadow victimiser, who has invaded all aspects of the clients' psyche, which in turn affects all their relationships with others.