Each year, anywhere from 2% to 7% of military couples file for divorce and even those that don't aren't always happy. Sometimes spouses at home cheat, and sometimes service members cheat on deployment.
Communication is the biggest liability to trust. Communication during deployment takes effort, creativity, and love. Relationships can survive deployment, but it takes awareness, self-control and the decision to communicate all along the way. No marriage or relationship is complete without it.
Statistically speaking, guys who have served in the military or are on active duty are twice as likely to cheat on their spouse. Thirty two percent of married veterans say they've had sex outside their marriage. In comparison, the number for married non-veterans is about 17 percent. Why the higher rate of infidelity?
Estimates vary wildly, but many relationship experts believe the rate of extramarital affairs could be somewhere around 50 percent. The rate of infidelity within the military community is not fully known. Depending on which study you read, it may be more or less than the civilian average.
Although our marriages look different to those of our civilian counterparts, military families do not experience a higher rate of infidelity than those in civilian families, which is estimated to be about 1/3 of the population. Which means about 2/3 of military families are not plagued by this issue.
Historic data suggests that men have always been more likely to cheat. But in the 1990s, the infidelity rate peaked among men in their 50s. In that decade, older men were less likely to cheat than those who were middle aged. Then, in the 2000s, the highest rate of infidelity shifted to men in their 60s.
While there are many different factors that can lead to cheating in a relationship, the stress of military life (and specifically military separations) can place an extra strain on relationships, making them more vulnerable to infidelity.
Your chances of having your marriage end in divorce are even higher if you are a female member of the military. The divorce rate among women in the military is 4.54%. The divorce rate among men in the military, meanwhile, is 2.9%.
The act of adultery is defined as a situation where a service member engages in sexual relations with someone other than his or her spouse. A soldier who is single and has sex with a married person is also considered to be adulterous.
You can do both. You can keep a strong relationship during deployment and continue to live the life you have right in front of you. Just remember to take your phone with you.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.
An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
In general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey(GSS). However, as the figure above indicates, this gender gap varies by age.
The stress of the holidays
Since this data has been released, researchers have tried to pinpoint why January, out of all the months of the year, is the most common month for infidelity to occur.
The worst part of deployments is all the unknowns
Communication can be stressful because we never know when our service member will contact us, or how long it will be until we hear from them again. Even on deployments with regular communication, they can lose wi-fi or email abilities without any warning.
Communications play a critical role when a servicemember is physically absent. Maintaining an emotional connection is essential in sustaining a relationship. Active communication also boosts morale for both the servicemember and those left at home.
The Five Stages
These stages are comprised as follows: pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, re-deployment and post-deployment. Each stage is characterized both by a time frame and specific emotional challenges, which must be dealt with and mastered by each of the Family members.