Control freaks rarely know that they are one. They believe that they are helping people with their "constructive criticism" or taking over a project because "no one else will do it right." They don't see their controlling behaviors as symptoms of what's really going on--their own anxiety has run amuck.
Summary. Controlling people attempt to assert power and control over others through manipulative tactics such as blaming, being critical, and shutting others down. They may not be aware they are exhibiting this behavior, which often stems from their own anxiety.
Deep down, control freaks are terrified of being vulnerable; they're anxious, insecure and angry. They believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives. They're very critical of their colleagues and their friends, but underneath their criticism is a mountain of unhappiness.
Don't try to control a control freak.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
Control freaks tend to have a psychological need to be in charge of things and people - even circumstances that cannot be controlled. The need for control, in extreme cases, stem from deeper psychological issues such as obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders or personality disorders.
Control seekers are often obsessive-compulsive, angry (either overt or passive-aggressive), phobic, or even mood-disordered. These people need control because, without it, they fear things would spiral out of control and their lives would fall apart.
Control freaks believe with enough effort and skill they can accomplish anything. They don't believe in timing or luck. They often say things like, “Failure isn't an option,” and they are overly critical of themselves when things don't go as planned.
Often, we hear about “control freaks,” a term that arose in the late 1960s. They are people who compulsively seek to direct, manage, or otherwise be in charge of someone or something. Such people strive to be in the driver's seat of decision-making that affects themselves or others.
If they find themselves in a situation where they are not in control, they tend to go ballistic. Since control freaks feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their life, they also have this strong need to control their image.
KontrolFreek Performance Thumbsticks are designed to provide an advantage in gameplay by increasing the controller's arc distance and maximizing agility, accuracy and grip. They snap easily on and off your controller's original thumbsticks, creating a new stick experience that will take your gaming to the next level!
Understanding Controlling People
Insecurity — Controlling behavior is often the result of fear or insecurity on the part of the controller, despite the image of strength and confidence he or she often projects.
Can you control your emotions? While we can't completely eliminate emotions – nor would we want to – we can manage our emotions in such a way that we stay in the driver's seat. This is known as emotional self-regulation. When you develop strong emotional regulation skills, your mental health can improve significantly.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. In a healthy relationship, there is compromise and understanding around differences. Not one person controls the other person's actions.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
Having a controlling personality is not considered to be a personality disorder; however, contemporary psychodynamic theory and practice see DMS-V personality disorders as being environmental as opposed to purely psychiatric (biological and physiological) conditions.
From my experience from living with a suspected narcissist I would say yes. They control every situation and/or conversation. They make or change the rules as they go, always framing themselves as the victim while putting the other down.
Consider that the know-it-all may display this personality trait because of a deep-seated insecurity and lack of confidence. Some people who feel inferior try to act superior as a defensive mechanism.
There is a very fine line of difference between caring and controlling making it very difficult to distinguish between the two. While caring arises from a sense of selflessness and love, controlling usually starts with feelings of insecurity and resentment.
Nevertheless, control freaks can and often do make very good, successful leaders. Why is that one of the best-kept secrets in the business world? Two reasons: For one thing, control freaks tend to keep pretty busy, well, controlling, running companies, bossing people around, and generating gobs of free cash flow.
A control freak is someone with a need to control other people, situations, and environments to create a sense of security, false though it may be. This is ultimately to cover their own insecurities and fears. They become perfectionists because they can't stand being wrong, inferior, or criticized.
Two common insecure relationship positions include what is referred as “Controllers” and “Dependents.” Controllers as Toxic: The “controller” has an authoritarian attitude, they seek control and power, blame others and have a hard time accepting responsibility.
Coercive control is a form of psychological abuse whereby the perpetrator carries out a pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviours within a relationship and exerts power over a victim, often through intimidation or humiliation, which tends to be more subtle and harder to spot.