Yes, people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can become obsessive, often fixating intensely on people (like a "favorite person"), ideas, or activities, stemming from deep-seated fears of abandonment, unstable self-image, and intense emotional dysregulation, leading to behaviors like excessive research, rumination, or even unhealthy habits, which serve as attempts to cope with overwhelming emotions and find certainty.
Those with BPD can get too reliant on and obsessed with their FP to get out of the relationship but the emotions they experience, simultaneously, are too intense to stay secure and healthy in the relationship. Therefore, they often feel like having no control over the relationship.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) split as a subconscious defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming emotions, particularly fear of abandonment and intense feelings of anxiety, by viewing themselves, others, or situations in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms (good vs. bad) instead of integrating complex, contradictory qualities. This protects them from pain by simplifying a confusing world, but it leads to rapid shifts between idealizing someone as perfect and devaluing them as terrible, often after minor perceived slights or triggers.
Many people with BPD describe a persistent sense of emptiness that's different from depression. It's like having a hole in your sense of self that you're constantly trying to fill through relationships, achievements, or behaviors that might seem impulsive to others but feel necessary for emotional survival.
The 7 Stages of the BPD Relationship Cycle
Most individuals with BPD will find themselves oscillating between being open, loving, kind and generous to then rejecting their partner with malicious and spiteful behaviour in an attempt to have them meet their emotional needs.
Some common warning signs include intense and rapidly changing emotions, often triggered by seemingly minor events. Individuals with BPD may exhibit impulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
The "3 C's of BPD" typically refer to advice for loved ones of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, reminding them: "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it," to help set boundaries and avoid taking on undue responsibility for the person's actions or illness. Another set of "C's" describes core BPD traits for individuals: Clinginess (fear of abandonment), Conflict (intense relationships/moods), and Confusion (unstable self-image).
Why BPD Symptoms Peak in Early Adulthood. In the 20s, identity formation and independence conflict with emotional vulnerability. Research shows impulsivity and mood swings occur most frequently between the ages of 18-25.
Don't…
Many Autistic people are misdiagnosed with borderline/emotionally unstable personality disorder (BPD/EUPD), with most professionals preferring to accept the initial diagnosis rather than acknowledging the realities of what it means to be Autistic.
Some common types of delusions that may occur in individuals with BPD include: Persecutory delusions: Believing that one is being mistreated, harassed, or conspired against by others.
Jobs that draw on empathy, communication, and understanding, traits often strengthened by lived experience with BPD, can also be deeply rewarding. Examples include: Teaching assistant or education support worker. Counsellor, peer support, or mental health worker.
Being married to someone with BPD can make you feel like you're being left alone with your worries and stresses. The stress and uncertainty associated with caring for the individual through their mood swings can take an emotional toll on a spouse.
In BPD, hypersexuality can be seen as a maladaptive coping mechanism used to manage intense emotional distress or feelings of emptiness, often associated with the disorder. The temporary relief or pleasure derived from sexual activity can provide a fleeting escape from these uncomfortable feelings.
Sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect.
BPD limerence is when borderline personality traits (BPD) meet with obsessive romantic attachment. It creates an emotionally intense experience where fear of abandonment meets desperate longing.
Conflicts and disagreements are difficult for people with BPD, as they interpret these as signals of uncaring or relationship termination, generating feelings of anger and shame.
Clinicians can be reluctant to make a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD). One reason is that BPD is a complex syndrome with symptoms that overlap many Axis I disorders. This paper will examine interfaces between BPD and depression, between BPD and bipolar disorder, and between BPD and psychoses.
How can I help myself in the longer term?
Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.
Feeling either “good” or “broken” — People with quiet BPD often turn splitting inward. This means they see themselves in extreme ways. You might switch between feeling confident and capable to feeling worthless and broken with little or no in between.
Every person is different, but here are some of the most common triggers for people with BPD:
While we see them as “being too serious”, the problem can be bigger than what we think. People exhibiting narcissistic borderline personality disorder are confused between the fear of abandonment and grandiosity. They often idealize someone and start devaluing them as soon as they make a mistake.
It is often shrouded in misconception, but the reality is that it is, in fact, the same condition as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For individuals with EUPD, regulating emotions is a constant struggle. And all of the above disorders can be experienced at once.
BPD Meltdown
During a meltdown, people may experience extreme mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down. Understanding how BPD contributes to meltdowns is crucial for developing coping strategies and providing support to manage and navigate these overwhelming emotional experiences.