Forgiveness is the antidote and a way for you to move on. However, it's a personal choice whether to do so. Can you forgive a cheater? In short, yes, but learning how to forgive someone for cheating means understanding what forgiveness actually means — only then can you achieve it.
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman.
It's healthy to forgive, but to draw boundaries and know when you've had enough is also beneficial. Never let anyone take your happiness and worth away. Is forgiving a cheating partner possible? Well, yes.
It can take one to two years to forgive a spouse who has cheated. Upon first discovering that your wife has been unfaithful, you may feel betrayed to the point that you don't see how the relationship can recover. However, with therapy, communication, and both parties on board with reconciling, forgiveness is possible.
Forgivable: Cheating Before You're Committed
If cheating occurs before you and your partner have defined the relationship, it may be possible to forgive them for hooking up with someone else, or going on a few dates.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
The other four factors, the study determined, are sexual desire, anger (like cheating as a way to lash out at a partner), not feeling very committed to a relationship, and esteem (using sex with other partners as a way to boost your self-worth).
Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr.
If they are willing to learn from their mistakes to avoid repeating them, this can be a positive sign that the relationship may be able to be preserved. If, however, the cheater shows little to no desire to repair the relationship, it might not be wise or healthy to give them a second chance.
And yet, the real answer to this significant question is this: It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
According to estimates based on married couples, approximately 25% of men admit to cheating on their spouse at some point, while around 15% of women admit to the same. Another study found that up to 4% of married individuals had cheated on their spouse in the past year.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Shame and guilt.
You may not admit it, but if you cheat, you're going to be ashamed and feel guilty, especially if your partner finds out and tells other people. These toxic emotions will keep you from being emotionally free to be truly happy.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
Infidelity can be traumatic, causing intensely painful emotions for the person who was cheated on. They may actually experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Constant Lying
This can tie into cheating, but also just lying in general. If your partner keeps lying to you, he or she can't be trusted, and it's a level of disrespect and shadiness that might not be forgiven in a relationship, says Ziegler.
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.