People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.
Mothers with BPD may oscillate between over-involved, intrusive behaviors and withdrawn, avoidant behaviors. These behaviors may also manifest as oscillations between hostile control and coldness.
Parents with high BPD features reported significantly greater parenting stress, distress, difficult child and difficult parent-child relationships compared to those with low BPD features, with medium to large effect sizes observed.
Parents with BPD may oscillate between being overly attached or involved with their children and being hostile or dismissive. Sometimes, they might present as extraordinarily loving and attentive. Other times, they may be harsh, punitive, and abusive.
People with BPD are good and compassionate, and they can have healthy relationships. It takes work, and lifelong challenges will remain. Therapists and doctors can work with you or your partner to develop a treatment plan.
Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
It is commonly believed that symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) lessen with age. For example, the DSM-IV states: “The impairment from the disorder and the risk of suicide are greatest in the young-adult years and gradually wane with advancing age” (1).
The symptoms of borderline personality disorder usually first occur in the teenage years and early twenties. However, onset may occur in some adults after the age of thirty, and behavioral precursors are evident in some children.
The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.
Results: People with Borderline Personality Disorder have a reduced life expectancy of some 20 years, attributable largely to physical health maladies, notably cardiovascular. Risk factors include obesity, sedentary lifestyle, poor diet and smoking.
One strong predictor of the disorder is family history. In fact, having a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, child) with BPD puts you at a 5 times greater risk of developing it yourself, according to NAMI. (2) With a first-degree relative, you share an average of 50 percent of your genes.
If the only concern is how a child with mentally ill parent(s) fares, the truth is: parents with psychiatric illness can and do have and raise healthy, happy children, just like "normal" people. Mentally ill parents may also have children with mental illness--just like "normal" people.
Findings from community samples have demonstrated that BPD symptoms and features peak during mid-adolescence and decline during late adolescence and young adulthood [11–14].
Genetics. Genes you inherit from your parents may make you more vulnerable to developing BPD. A study found that if 1 identical twin had BPD, there was a 2-in-3 chance that the other identical twin would also have BPD. However, these results have to be treated with caution, and there's no evidence of a gene for BPD.
It is characterized by a cluster of features including intense and unstable relationships, lability of affect, impulsive self-damaging behaviors, suicidality, and identity disturbances. Inevitably therefore, pregnancy and childbirth often enhance problems for women with BPD.
Verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, together with emotional and physical neglect, and chronic exposure to peer victimization were identified as potential factors that increase the risk for early BPD.
However, contrary to popular mythology and outdated thinking, BPD does not have to be an immutable state. With the right approach and treatment, you can nurture a healthier relationship with your child while giving them invaluable support as they learn to navigate their illness and find true recovery.
People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.
“Clinicians should know that people with BPD can successfully marry or live with a partner in a stable relationship and become parents.
Key points. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may engage in divisive behaviors toward family members, which affects patterns of relating. Patterns that cause conflict among families with BPD include competition and triangulation, in which a third person is brought into an argument.