Indeed, you can fire your maid of honor, and the following stories serve as proof that sometimes, it's the best decision you can make to preserve your sanity and ensure all goes smoothly.
The short answer to this is yes. You can absolutely say no to being a bridesmaid, maid of honour, best man or any other wedding party role.
If you cannot choose between ladies for the Maid or Matron of Honor title, it's okay to not choose one at all. This is a good way to avoid the drama associated with choosing one person over the other. Plus, it's a way to show your bridal party that they're all equally important to you.
Try talking gently and honestly about her feelings. And always remember that, even when you're planning a wedding, friendship is a two-way street. She needs your support as much as you need hers -- maybe more. Some people have legitimate reasons for being difficult.
If so, reach out to her and tell her that you feel that there has been a distance between you. Ask if there's something you've done to hurt or offend her. If she seems like she still wants to continue the relationship, then you can ask if she still wants to be your MOH.
Make sure you give her specific reasons why you are “letting her go” — maybe you had a disagreement or she isn't putting in the time needed to be a bridesmaid, or she didn't understand the cost involved. You need to be very clear and kind, and take some of the blame if you didn't explain expectations upfront.
For Would-Be Maids of Honor
“You should tell her right away, as soon as possible,” says event and wedding planner Mindy Weiss, adding that the conversation should take place in person when possible, and over the phone if not. The key is to have it as soon as you can.
All you have to do is to be a good listener. Talk to her politely about her behavior, and this could drastically change things. It will make her more conscious, and your polite behavior might change hers too. Ask her about any other problems she might have because that could be a reason for her unnecessary anger.
What does the Maid of Honor Pay for? As the main event planner and bride's right-hand gal or guy, the MOH is often the one who covers some of the bachelorette party expenses — extra fun additions like decorations, a stocked fridge, or first-class upgrade for the bride's flight (if you're feeling extra generous).
During the wedding weekend, the maid of honor is the bride's go-to person for bustling her gown and arranging her veil at the altar; collecting gift envelopes brought to the reception and keeping them in a safe place; and arranging storage for your gown after the all the festivities are said and done (if applicable).
The maid of honor, along with the rest of the bridal party, is expected to cover all wedding attire costs. This includes the dress (plus any necessary alterations), shoes, and any jewelry you'll be wearing the day of.
“The Maid of Honor refers to a bride's honor attendant who is NOT married. The Matron of Honor refers to one who is married. Honor attendants are usually a best friend or sister. Recently though, some brides have selected their mother for this role.
How many Maids/Matrons can I choose? As many as you deem appropriate. There is no limit to the number of Maids of Honor, Matrons, Bridesmaids or Groomsmen you can have at your wedding, nor should there be. Each of these people are important in your life and will be a great help as official honorary attendants.
Bridesmaids and Maid of Honour are crucial members of the bridal party. Knowing the difference between the positions is essential before making a choice. Maid of Honor is the most senior bridesmaid, and is responsible for looking after the bride's maid of honour.
While Bridesmaids' responsibilities are to be supportive and help as needed, the Maid of Honor will help the Bride out with whatever tasks are needed. This might include setting up the engagement party or rehearsal dinner and sending out invitations to name a few.
YOU SAY: “I know you're working hard to plan this wedding, and I wish I could be there with you. But this year has been tough for me financially, and I don't think I can swing this. I hope you'll understand.”
Should the maid of honor get the bride a gift? Absolutely yes! OK, so you don't have to buy the bride anything, but a small engagement present in the build-up to her big day is a great way to show your support and love for her.
Who Pays for Bridesmaids Dresses in the US? In the US, the tradition is for the bridesmaids to each pay for their own bridesmaids dress, regardless of who is making the final call on what the dresses will look like. The bride should try to be flexible about the kind of dresses she chooses for her girls.
The bridesmaids are responsible for covering the costs of their own dresses, undergarments, shoes, accessories, and hair and makeup for the big day.
Whether your helper's main duties involve looking after your kids or keeping your house clean (or both, or more), if she cannot physically keep up with the work you set out for her within reasonable working hours, then it may be time to ask her to leave.
Encourage the maid to knock and wait for permission before entering bedrooms, ensuring that family members have their personal space respected. Similarly, the employer shall respect the helper's bedroom privacy and apply the same boundary rule.
Domestic maid violence is an assault and coercive behaviour, which mainly includes physical, psychological and at times sexual too, by employer or household members of employer against a person hired as a domestic help. Maid abuse is well known but poorly documented in scientific literature.
If she's just not fit for the job, express to her how all of the bridesmaids and friends are equally as important to you. Maybe you don't have a MOH at all if you're miss social butterfly and can't pick one. Don't forget this is YOUR day and you're allowed to call the shots.
Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor
Before starting down the aisle, she should take a moment to look over the bride's wedding gown, dress train, and veil to see that they are perfectly in place. Then she walks down the aisle, after the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and stands next to the bride, on her left.
They are actually different! The biggest distinction between the two is that title of “Maid of Honor” is traditionally given to an unmarried woman, while a “Matron of Honor” is a title given to a married woman.