Yes, you can often change the locks if your husband leaves, especially if you are the sole owner or if there's no court order, but it's complex: if he's also an owner or has tenancy rights, he might still have a legal right to enter, potentially leading to conflict, so getting legal advice is crucial to understand your rights and avoid escalating disputes, as he might just change the locks back or find another way in, and you might need a court order for exclusive occupancy, notes Coote Family Lawyers and JustAnswer.
If you're married or in a civil partnership
You can ask for financial support from your ex-partner as soon as you separate. This is known as 'spousal maintenance' and is a regular payment to help you pay bills and other living costs.
You can change the locks, but if you and she are co-owners of the property she would have the right to have the locks changed as well. Go ahead and change the locks, but consider filing a Separate Maintenance or Divorce action so that you can ask the Court to award you temporary or permanent possession of the home.
Don't rush and make emotional decisions, turn down opportunities to spend time with your children, say bad things about your spouse, take on more debt, hide income and assets, get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, or say anything on social media about your situation.
Don't feel you have to go alone either – take a friend to support you (most importantly, to make sure you get there). The second point is to remember how, after he first left, you got out there, did things and made new friends. All good and you can do this again but don't exhaust yourself either.
There are also other warning signs, and if one or more of them are present in your relationship, it may be time to take action.
Still, about half of the states allow you the option of filing for a fault divorce based on abandonment or desertion. As a general rule in these states, you may get a divorce on this ground if your spouse has unilaterally left the family home without justification and refuses to come back.
The "3-3-3 rule" for breakups is a guideline suggesting 3 days for emotional release, 3 weeks for reflection, and 3 months for intentional rebuilding/healing, helping people process a split in stages. It's a simplified framework for managing grief, contrasting with longer models, and aims to create space for personal growth by focusing on self-improvement and gaining perspective after the initial shock of the breakup, though individual healing times vary greatly and aren't set in stone.
Moving out during a divorce is often considered a big mistake because it can negatively affect child custody, create immediate financial hardship (paying two households), weaken your negotiating power, and make it difficult to access important documents, while courts prefer maintaining the status quo for stability unless there's abuse. Voluntarily leaving can signal to a judge that you're less involved with the children and the home, making it harder to argue for equal time or possession later, even if your name is on the mortgage or lease.
The most common examples are gifted and inherited assets. Money or property given to one spouse as a gift, or received through an inheritance, is generally considered separate property and cannot be touched in a divorce, as long as it has been kept separate.
The legal position is that both parties' have an equal right to access and to occupy the property. Even if only one party is paying the mortgage or the other party has made no contribution at all, you cannot change the locks without the agreement of the co-owner or an order of the court.
The biggest divorce mistake is often letting emotions control decisions, leading to impulsive actions, but failing to seek early legal and financial advice is equally critical, as it can severely jeopardize your long-term financial security and rights, especially regarding property division and child custody. Other major errors include hiding assets, not focusing on children's needs, and using the process for revenge rather than resolution.
There's no automatic rule in Australia that says one party must leave the home during separation. If the house is jointly owned, both parties are legally entitled to stay.
The four behaviors that predict over 90% of divorces, known as Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which erode connection, respect, and safety, leading to relationship breakdown. These destructive communication patterns, if persistent, signal that a marriage is likely to end, with contempt being the most damaging.
If your marriage or civil partnership ends, you can ask for financial support - known as 'spousal maintenance' - from your ex-partner as soon as you separate. This is in addition to any child maintenance they might have to pay.
The law offers particular protection to spouses, so if a husband cuts his wife out of his will, or vice versa, then they may be able to pursue a legal challenge. Most married couples leave their estates to each other.
How to Accept that Your Marriage Is Over
The research examined short-run consequences of separation and divorce in a large representative sample of American Baby Boomers provided by the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1979. The results indicated that all groups of women fared worse than men in economic status and well-being following marital disruption.
Should You Move Out? None of this is to say you can't move out during a divorce. You may need to, especially if a living situation becomes unsafe. But in general, unless the court specifically orders you to, or it's a safety issue, we don't recommend vacating until temporary orders are in place.
The "72-hour rule" after a breakup generally means implementing a period of no contact for at least three days (72 hours) to allow intense emotions to subside, enabling clearer thinking and a less impulsive reaction, whether that's reaching out or making big decisions. This time helps move you from shock into processing, calming the brain's emergency response, and setting a healthier foundation for recovery and deciding next steps, preventing you from acting solely from heartbreak.
Your ex staying in touch with you constantly (even after weeks or months of the breakup) is a big sign that they will eventually come back. Probably one of the biggest. It's important to note that this sign only applies if they have been doing it consistently for a while and enough time has passed since the breakup.
A family law solicitor can help you register your rights with the Land Registry and explain your longer-term housing and financial settlement options. In addition to family home rights, you may be entitled to child support if you have children with your husband and spousal maintenance for yourself.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
There's no single answer, as suffering in divorce is highly individual, but research shows women often face greater financial hardship and poverty risk, while men tend to struggle more with emotional adjustment, depression, and loneliness, though both experience significant challenges, especially regarding children, finances, and loss of intimacy. Children also suffer greatly from parental conflict, disrupted routines, and loyalty conflicts, with the outcome depending heavily on co-parenting quality.