Having a crush on someone else when you're married doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It also is not a reflection of your marriage. Believe it or not, having a crush may not mean anything at all. In fact, people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop fluttery feelings for attractive others.
Apart from being dissatisfied in his marriage, physical attraction may be one of the reasons a married man feels gravitated towards another woman. A man may also feel attracted towards another woman if she possesses qualities that his spouse does not. This could mean having a flourishing career, or common interests.
If a married man really loves you, he will get nervous around you, will lean toward you while talking to you, make continuous eye contact with you, will smile at you as if you mean the world to him, and will miss no chance to make physical contact with you as well.
According to Ken Munyua, a Nairobi-based psychologist, men can have a sense of attachment and commitment to more than one romantic partner, which they will define as love. “A man may be able to emotionally commit and attach himself to two women at the same time.
Having a crush on someone else when you're married doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It also is not a reflection of your marriage. Believe it or not, having a crush may not mean anything at all. In fact, people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop fluttery feelings for attractive others.
However, one of the signs an affair is turning into love is when you contact them more often than usual. You are missing the person with whom you are having an affair and you want to know how they are doing. At this point, you are already emotionally attached to them, and you can't do without communicating with them.
Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.
Many men, pursue someone who they can have innocent fun with to boost their self-esteem or simply to get a thrill. Another reason you might notice the signs a married man is pursuing you is because they want their partner to appreciate them more. While this might sound manipulative, it can also be a subconscious drive.
It's all normal. "Feeling excited by or attracted to someone else doesn't mean there is something missing in your relationship," O'Reilly says. "One partner cannot possibly fulfill every single one of your needs—the practical to the sexual—so it's common to look for other sources of excitement and fulfillment."
In some situations, a spouse may engage in an emotional affair as a way of getting back at their partner or dealing with unaddressed anger or issues. It's a form of acting out, but in a way that might seem less serious than cheating physically.
Sexual Compatibility
Sexual compatibility is one of the top reasons a man chooses a woman over another. Many men prefer a woman that matches their sexual styles. These styles may include her moves, the way she kisses, the way she dresses, and so on. Understand that she might not even be as beautiful as you are.
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
Expressing a romantic or sexual interest towards a person outside of your marriage is not only inappropriate flirting, but disrespectful. The spouse typically sees it this way unless you're in an open relationship in which seeking other partners is agreed upon as acceptable.
Go for walks, practice meditation or yoga, journal your thoughts and feelings, listen to music, or silently watch the sunrise over a cup of tea. Doing so will ensure you stay balanced and maintain clarity, avoiding any impulsive actions while having feelings for someone else while married or in a relationship.
A married man flirting may just be having fun, or he may enjoy being found attractive and get a boost to his self-esteem in the process. He may also be simply seeking to manipulate the relationship toward a non-sexual goal, such as conforming to a permissive work environment or securing a political ally.
Fulfill his needs to be appreciated and excited. Compliment him on what he's wearing; tell him that he's interesting and his jokes are fun. Show him that you see him in a way that his wife no longer does, and help him fall in love with you by making him fall in love again with himself, especially when he's around you.
These mixed signals can be indicators that he's either confused about his feelings for you or trying to fight them. He might be surprised that he suddenly has feelings for you and is just trying to work out what it means and whether he should act on his feelings.
They Make You Feel Like You're The Only One Around
"They don't want to talk to anyone else," Hershenson says. "If they were around you the entire time and didn't bother to meet other people or [start] up a conversation with anyone else, it's a sign they think you're special."
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.
Loved-up couples be warned: September has been named the month when affairs are most likely to begin. Overtaking January as the biggest month for infidelity, new research has found those looking to stray are more likely to start an affair in September than any other time of the year.
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.
Flirting crosses the line when the actions becomes covert or so emotionally connected that you pursue said behavior over furthering your committed relationship.