Key points. Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others. Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.
Insecure people often use criticism of others as a way to feel better about themselves. See, people who are insecure consistently feel bad about themselves. And often, they don't know how to feel better in a healthy or productive way. So they often resort to criticizing others.
People with insecurity often want to appear secure, and their explicit comments may be at odds with their automatic responses to certain stimuli. Deliberate self-misrepresentation or false behavior/information on social media can also be a sign of social anxiety.
People who are insecure experience a lot of fear of being abandoned or disliked because they are unsure of themselves. There has been a trigger for anger. This behavior is usually a way to protect themselves. Behind anger, you will find fear.
Even in the modern world, anger is an emotional tool in an arsenal designed to protect us from real physical threats. More often however, anger is an expression designed to protect ourselves not from what's happening around us, but from what's happening inside us – from underlying fear, anxiety or insecurity.
Arrogance is rooted in insecurity — a defense from feelings of weakness that are unacceptable and unclaimed. An arrogant person generally has a skewed view of the world and a warped understanding of themselves.
Key points. Red flags in a relationship are intuitive indicators that something needs to be questioned. Relationship red flags include feelings of insecurity and negative feedback from one's friends and family. Any kind of abuse is the biggest red flag in a relationship.
It's a Way to Deal With Their Insecurity
Insecure people may also belittle others to protect themselves from being vulnerable or rejected by others. This is especially common when the person belittling others has low self-esteem and frequently faces rejection or disapproval from those around them.
In almost all cases, defensiveness is the result of emotional insecurity and fear. And when we feel insecure and don't know how to manage our fears—especially in the relationships where there's a lot at stake—we tend to fall back on primitive coping strategies like defensiveness to feel better.
Insecurity And Feeling Powerless
The truth is that insecurity doesn't always make an individual shy and reserved. It simply means they're not happy with themselves. When an individual feels this way, they may engage in bullying to bring others down to their perceived level.
Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one's environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
Key points. Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others. Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.
“Insecure people have trouble saying no. They tend to say “yes” because they think you'll like them better if they do. Instead of staying true to themselves, they take on more than they can handle or things they don't want to do to manipulate your perception of them. This approval makes them feel more secure.
Insecure attachment is an insidious form of being traumatized. In times like this where we have been restricted in terms of physical contact with others, there can be a connection between those restrictions and the many ways this is symbolic of being isolated and rejected as a child.
You have a tendency to be defensive: if you have low self-esteem, your behavior is likely to be fussy and belligerent. Believing that you are not worth much, you will feel at war with the world and your reactions will be negative.
An example of defensive behavior stemming from trauma is when someone has been through abuse in the past and has a hard time trusting other people because of it. So when their partner questions them about something, they lash out with defensive actions to keep others away so that nothing bad happens again.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members.
The need to feel superior to others is a major cause for people who put others down. Psychology says those who feel this often think they need to bully to knock others down and bring themselves up. An online therapist can help you navigate both being a bully or being bullied.
People who are generally insecure in their relationships are more actively engaged on the social media site - frequently posting on walls, commenting, updating their status or "liking" something - in the hope of getting attention, researchers said.
Red flags can be signs of narcissism, aggression, victimization, or even abusive behavior.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.