Yes, emotionally intelligent (EI) people can be manipulative, as high EI provides the skills to understand and influence others' emotions for self-serving reasons, but it's not inherent; true EI focuses on empathy and connection, while manipulation is using those skills maliciously, often linked to the "Dark Triad" traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism). While some studies link higher EI to higher manipulation, others show low EI is a better predictor, suggesting context and intent matter more than the skill itself.
Manipulation can take many forms. In fact, even acting kind can be a form of manipulation if the person's intent is not to genuinely help you, but only to get something for themselves. People who manipulate others often have very high emotional intelligence (EI).
The dark side of emotional intelligence
Read on for 9 signs of an emotionally intelligent person – plus, 5 ways in which you can develop your own emotional intelligence.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Manipulative behavior has also been related with one's level of emotional intelligence.
Manipulative behavior to obtain nurturance is considered by the DSM-IV-TR and many mental health professionals to be a characteristic of borderline personality disorder. In one research study, 88% of therapists reported that they have experienced manipulation attempts from patient(s).
Manipulative movements such as throwing, catching, kicking, trapping, striking, volleying, bouncing, and ball rolling are considered to be fundamental manipulative skills. These skills are essential to purposeful and controlled interaction with objects in our environment.
5 Signs You Have High Emotional Intelligence
Emotionally intelligent people don't unleash their rage like this. They use anger as an instrument, not a weapon. Anger is meant to protect us, which is why it pops up when someone disrespects you, spills your secrets, or crosses a boundary. Handling anger sensibly means communicating with words instead of actions.
Emotional intelligence is not only a gift in the workplace, but also in relationships. Regularly communicating four phrases may signify that you have the emotionally intelligent qualities: self-awareness (accountability), social awareness, empathy, and motivation.
A dark empath is commonly described as a person who can accurately recognize and understand others' emotions while also exhibiting traits associated with the Dark Triad in personality psychology: Narcissism, reflected in self-centeredness or a need for admiration.
Those with a high EQ are often great leaders, communicators, or team players. They have excellent conversational skills and take an interest in who they are speaking to, refraining from tactless comments or making everything about them. This simple act makes them well-liked and respected in the eyes of their peers.
On the other hand, one of the signs that a leader has weak EQ is a general lack of self-awareness. These individuals may be oblivious to how their tone, body language and word choices affect others. They may come across as abrasive and uncaring. Because they lack self-awareness, they also struggle with self-regulation.
Emotional manipulators will tell you what you want to hear, but their actions are another story. They pledge their support, but, when it comes time to follow through, they act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable. They tell you how lucky they are to know you, and then act as though you're a burden.
Essentially, we conclude that people with higher EQ tend to be more Extraverted than Introverted, Intuitive than Sensing, and Feeling than Thought-oriented. In MBTI terms, they are more likely to be ENF type.
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
Eight Signs of High Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and How You Respond
Finding fault with, criticizing, and putting others down
While they will give feedback to others, emotionally intelligent people will never do this to punish them, belittle them, or make them feel bad.
The five core competencies of emotional intelligence (EQ), popularized by Daniel Goleman, are Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Motivation, Empathy, and Social Skills. These skills help individuals understand their own emotions, manage them effectively, understand others' feelings, and build stronger relationships for personal and professional success.
Emotional Intelligence Part II: 7 Signs of Strong EQ
Here's a glimpse at what the scores generally signify: Score of 70 or above: Above average emotional intelligence. These individuals have a substantial understanding and control over their emotions. They typically have strong communication skills, are adept at problem-solving and have a high level of self-confidence.
Interestingly, anxious overthinkers often demonstrate high emotional intelligence as well. Their heightened sensitivity and self-awareness can make them exceptionally attuned to others' feelings and needs. This emotional intelligence manifests as: Enhanced empathy toward others' suffering.
Master manipulators are subtly different
Their relationships eventually end up one-sided, although, at the beginning, they may go out of their way to please. That desire to make others happy is short-lived, as it always serves their own purpose: to get what they want or to make themselves look good in some way.
The manipulative skill involves using your hands to receive and hold an object that's moving through the air, like a ball. It helps develop hand-eye coordination, timing and focus. 🏏Catching is used in sports including volleyball, basketball, baseball/softball, cricket, netball, rugby, handball and frisbee.
They unload their responsibilities onto others or dismiss their responsibilities. They do not clearly communicate their requests, needs, feelings or opinions. They often respond vaguely. They change their opinions, behaviours, or feelings depending on the person or situation.