Research. There is a bunch of research that is done on the effects of parenting and disciplining on kids of every age, but let me just save you the trouble, and let you know that NO. You are most likely not scarring your child for life when you yell at them or lose your cool every once in a while.
A 2014 study in The Journal of Child Development demonstrated that yelling produces results similar to physical punishment in children: increased levels of anxiety, stress and depression along with an increase in behavioral problems.
Just as your four-year-old will not remember that wonderful visit you had at Grandma's house, they also will not remember the time you were so frustrated, stressed, or sleep deprived that you screamed at them.
Studies have shown that infants as young as one month-old sense when a parent is depressed or angry and are affected by the parent's mood. Understanding that even infants are affected by adult emotions can help parents do their best in supporting their child's healthy development.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
“Toddlers are probably even more aware when their parents are fighting than older children because toddlers haven't built up any defenses to conflict yet,” she says. “They can feel the emotional energy between their parents and are extremely sensitive to it.
Yes, yelling can be used as a weapon, and a dangerous one at that. Research shows that verbal abuse can, in extreme situations, be as psychologically damaging as physical abuse. But yelling can also be used as a tool, one that lets parents release a little steam and, sometimes, gets kids to listen.
What is Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS)? In a nutshell, Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) occurs when demands on the mother increase, and her resources decrease. As a result of this imbalance, the mother's emotional sensitivity to both internal, and external triggers becomes heightened.
Apologize and Connect with Your Kids
Get on your child's level to re-establish a connection with them, look them in the eyes, make sure you have their attention, and offer them a genuine apology. Here is a free printable copy of things to say after you yell.
In contrast, arguments that escalate to yelling, threats, or physical force can be very damaging to a child's emotional stability and wellbeing. With repeated exposure to this sort of toxic fighting, a child can become vulnerable to experiencing depression, anxiety, aggression, and hostility.
“Supermom Syndrome” refers to a mother's constant need to accomplish everything possible perfectly, often setting unattainable goals for herself. Tell-tale signs of Supermom Syndrome: Everything relating to the household has to be in perfect condition all the time.
What Is An Emotionally Unavailable Parent. Emotionally unavailable parents are physically present but emotionally detached. They keep an emotional distance from their children, interacting with them only when necessary, and they remain uninvolved in their lives.
“For instance, a baby may not remember explicitly the time they were yelled at in the kitchen booster seat when they were 6 months old, but their body remembers the way it recoiled, the way it pumped blood to increase oxygen to the muscles in response to feeling unsafe,” Keith explains.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Being subjected to constant yelling and verbal abuse can cause symptoms of PTSD. Symptoms can include insomnia, feeling the need to be on guard, getting easily startled and displaying self-destructive behavior.
When parents repeatedly use hostile strategies with each other, some children can become distraught, worried, anxious, and hopeless. Others may react outwardly with anger, becoming aggressive and developing behavior problems at home and at school.
In these studies, almost all researchers concluded toddlers are able to retain memories several months and perhaps years after an event occurred. Because they are so small, their brains are still developing but such studies have proven that they are capable of having a strong memory.
Research suggests that babies are indeed affected by parental squabbles, and exposure to chronic conflict may affect brain development. Experimental studies confirm that babies can sense when their mothers are distressed, and the stress is contagious.
What is aggressive parenting. Aggressive parenting involves using threats or punishment to control or pressure a child to obey. Parental aggression toward children can be psychological or physical. It is toxic parenting.