Whether your ex contacts you depends on many personal factors, but it's common for exes to reach out due to loneliness, nostalgia, guilt, or a desire for closure, often after a few weeks or months once initial emotions settle and perspective shifts. Signs they might reach out include repeated "hot/cold" behavior, frequent check-ins, or breakup circumstances like it being an impulsive fight. However, contact doesn't always mean they want to get back together; it could be for emotional relief or as a test of your reaction.
Your ex staying in touch with you constantly (even after weeks or months of the breakup) is a big sign that they will eventually come back. Probably one of the biggest. It's important to note that this sign only applies if they have been doing it consistently for a while and enough time has passed since the breakup.
According to my survey, 2.56 months is the average time for an ex to reach out. By now, they've had enough space to gain perspective, the initial relief of the breakup has worn off, and they're starting to genuinely miss what you had together.
After about 5-6 months, most people have moved on emotionally. The window closes. This doesn't mean it's impossible — some exes do come back after years — but the odds drop significantly. Stop waiting and start genuinely moving on.
Generally speaking, though, Juarez divides break-ups into three tiers based on what she's seen in her practice: To overcome a “big breakup” (a relationship of three to 10 years), it may take six to 12 months; a “mid-breakup” (a relationship of nine months to two years) may take three to six months; and a “mini-breakup” ...
Signs the spark is gone in a relationship often involve a decline in physical intimacy (less sex, touching, kissing), reduced or negative communication (criticism, stonewalling, no deep talks), emotional distance (feeling detached, irritable), and a lack of shared enjoyment or effort (avoiding time together, no dates, less interest in the future). It's a shift from excitement and vulnerability to routine or resentment, where the desire for deep connection and shared passion fades.
Exes may return in some cases. Since couples break up for various reasons, the circumstances of a breakup may impact the potential for reconnection. A recent study showed that 44% of Americans have gotten back together with one of their exes after breaking up with them.
It gives you time to cool down and get some perspective.
No Contact can also give you a better perspective on things — I've had a number of clients that, after 30 days of radio silence, have decided their ex isn't actually worth pursuing and that they'd be better off moving on.
The "3-3-3 rule" for breakups is a guideline suggesting 3 days for emotional release, 3 weeks for reflection, and 3 months for intentional rebuilding/healing, helping people process a split in stages. It's a simplified framework for managing grief, contrasting with longer models, and aims to create space for personal growth by focusing on self-improvement and gaining perspective after the initial shock of the breakup, though individual healing times vary greatly and aren't set in stone.
1) They have fully accepted the breakup
One of the clearest signs that a breakup is final is when both people have truly accepted that it's over. At first, breakups can be messy, with one or both partners holding onto hope that things might change.
And if your emotional connection with your ex was strong, they are going to eventually find their way back to you. They come back not just because they realize that it's not easy out there, they also come back when they realize how important you were to them and how much potential the relationship had.
Now, for some actual data. I've dug deep into reconciliation recently, and it turns out that, on average, it takes two exes 2.56 months of missing each other before they start thinking about getting back together. So expect them to start missing you roughly two months post-breakup.
Here are some signs your breakup is temporary:
A: About 37% of exes got back together in the first month, a whopping 57% got back together during months 2 and 5, and only 5% got back together after staying apart for five months or longer. So, roughly speaking, an average person gets back together with their ex in 2.56 months.
The "72-hour rule" after a breakup generally means implementing a period of no contact for at least three days (72 hours) to allow intense emotions to subside, enabling clearer thinking and a less impulsive reaction, whether that's reaching out or making big decisions. This time helps move you from shock into processing, calming the brain's emergency response, and setting a healthier foundation for recovery and deciding next steps, preventing you from acting solely from heartbreak.
It often holds a depth of meaning that words cannot convey. In moments of silence, we can reflect, feel, and connect with our emotions and thoughts in a way that can be deeply healing. Sometimes, just being present in silence with someone can communicate understanding and support more than any words ever could.
One of the most common signs a guy is hurting after a breakup is when he doesn't reach out to you at all. He doesn't write you messages, doesn't call, maybe he doesn't even react to your posts or stories. But he hasn't unfriended or blocked you.
The "65% rule of breakups" refers to research suggesting couples often separate when relationship satisfaction drops below a critical threshold, around 65% of the maximum possible score, indicating distress is too high to continue. While not a formal psychological law, experts use the idea to suggest that if you feel significantly unhappy (e.g., 65% sure the relationship isn't working), it might be time to consider ending it to create space for peace and something healthier, rather than staying in a failing situation.
A Part Of Them Misses You. Even though your ex broke up with you, the reaching out is an indication there's a part of them that misses you - even if they don't say that in their message or call. What it doesn't necessarily mean, is that they want to get back together.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
There's no emotional connection
If you're not sharing what's really on your mind, it might be a sign that you no longer want a deep connection. Similarly, if you've found that the usual fun banter between you is gone, or it's difficult to have engaging conversations, your bond could be getting weaker.
Grey divorce or late-life divorce is the demographic trend of an increasing divorce rate for older ("grey-haired") couples in long-lasting marriages, a term typically used for people over 50. Those who divorce may be called silver splitters. Divorcing late in life can cause financial difficulties.
The 5-5-5 rule in marriage is a mindfulness and communication tool that encourages couples to pause and ask themselves: Will this matter in 5 minutes, 5 days, or 5 years? It's designed to help de-escalate conflict and shift focus to what truly matters.