There is also evidence to link BPD to other forms of child maltreatment, such as emotional and physical neglect. In fact, some research suggests that emotional and physical neglect may be even more closely related to the development of BPD than physical or sexual abuse.
Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
Mothers with BPD may find it difficult to balance appropriate limit setting with the encouragement of exploration and growth for their children. It may also be that mothers with BPD find it difficult to adjust their parenting strategies to match the developmental needs of their children.
A BPD mother's symptoms will affect how she interacts with her children. Mothers with BPD can seem unloving, withholding, and negative. Their behavior may be unpredictable and their children may feel like they have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent their mothers from having mood swings.
Parents with BPD may oscillate between being overly attached or involved with their children and being hostile or dismissive. Sometimes, they might present as extraordinarily loving and attentive. Other times, they may be harsh, punitive, and abusive.
This tumultuous personality disorder can cause depression, substance abuse, extreme levels of stress, and hostility in the home. This illness is difficult to live with. It's also difficult to parent with borderline personality disorder. Further, it's hard on children.
Both borderline and narcissistic mothers may have difficulty appropriately parenting their children. Borderline mothers may be disorganized, over-emotional, or act more like an older sibling than a mother. Narcissistic mothers may be harsh and critical, have unrealistic standards, or use shame as a punishment.
Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.
The Victim
Someone with BPD may struggle to take an active role even in simple tasks or enjoyable activities without the assistance of another. In this instance, the person with BPD will seek out a persecutor or rescuer to validate their experience of victimization.
The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
The children of Narcissistic parents who develop personality disorders (and not all do) generally become either Narcissistic or Schizoid. A few develop Borderline Personality Disorder.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
People with a history of child abuse, such as childhood sexual abuse, physical neglect, early life stress (such as traumatic events in childhood), and child maltreatment are significantly more likely to develop BPD.
If you get a BPD diagnosis you're more likely than most people to have had difficult or traumatic experiences growing up, such as: Often having felt afraid, upset, unsupported or invalidated. Family difficulties or instability, such as living with a parent or carer who experienced an addiction.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged.
Signs Your Dad Has BPD
He has a substance abuse problem. He experiences tumultuous relationships within and without the family unit. He is emotionally manipulative and overly judgmental. He experiences bouts of depression or self-loathing, or has engaged in self-harming or impulsive behaviors.
However: Brain scans have shown people with BPD have amygdala's that are noticeably smaller than the general population, and may even have undergone atrophy. The smaller the amygdala, the more overactive it is.
The child of the borderline parent is under the authority or power of that parent so they will often be made into the all-bad one – or the scapegoat for the borderline to use the child in an abusive way that serves to manage their own feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
The Attraction
The reason why these personality types are attracted to one another is they magnetise. Each one helps the other play out their individual drama by fulfilling their needs. In the case of the borderline sufferer, when they first encounter the narcissist, they see everything they are not and cannot do.
If the relationship is over, the partner living with BPD could spiral down into thoughts of low self-worth and experience symptoms of depression. They may tell themselves they're worthless or experience such volatile emotions that they engage in some behaviors that may put their safety in jeopardy.
According to previous research, patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) show intense reactions to perceived abandonment, a high degree of mistrust, and a distorted, negative perception of others that contribute significantly to interpersonal problems.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance.