Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final. Other times, a narcissist will use hoovering to lure the person back into the relationship and repeat the cycle.
Though typical narcissists do not discard people because they crave attention, covert narcissists may go to extreme measures to permanently discard you.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.
The narcissist will discard you when you no longer serve a purpose in their life and helping them get their needs met. There is nothing you can do at this point to make things better because the narcissist is only focused on themselves.
To make the narcissist want you back, remind them of what they're missing by showing them you've got plenty of new supply to give. The narcissist thrives on external validation. Because of their deep-rooted insecurities, they cannot love themselves, and they seek affirmation from outside sources.
There are early sometimes subtle signs the narcissist may be finished with you and more obvious absolute signals. The narcissist often ignores what you say almost as if you never spoke. The narcissist stops texting back to you or delays for days. The narcissist does not make eye contact with you.
Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy in a Relationship? While it may be possible for a narcissist to develop feelings of love towards someone else, they struggle to maintain lasting relationships due to their lack of empathy and tendency towards selfishness.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
The phrase “keep tabs” means to carefully watch (someone or something) in order to learn what that person or thing is doing. Narcissists frequently keep tabs on the people that they've discarded because it allows them to gather the information that they need to maintain power and control.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.
You can start healing from narcissistic abuse by first acknowledging that it happened to you. Then, heal your mind through your body by partaking in self-care through enjoyable physical activity. Lastly, you can reach out to your support system or a support group for guidance and care.
Keeping Secrets. Being more secretive may also be a sign of narcissistic discard. People with NPD may begin to hide things from the other person, withhold information, or behave in more secretive ways. For example, they might refuse to tell someone what their plans are, where they're going, or what they've been doing.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time. He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.
Many people naively believe that they can cure the narcissist by engulfing him with love, acceptance, compassion and empathy. This is not so. The only time a transformative healing process occurs is when the narcissist experiences a severe narcissistic injury, a life crisis.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
They may say or do things that are hurtful and offensive to others grieving the same loss, making it even more challenging to help them get through their grief. A narcissist may feel that the death of their loved one is an inconvenience to them and feel burdened by their loved one choosing an “inopportune time” to die.
Narcissists can't take rejection and they see it as a personal attraction to their character. Even after long periods of the breakup, they can't accept the fact that you're moving on. Now that you're seeing someone else, your narcissistic ex would act like a predator.
Will a Narcissist Return After a Discard? The sad truth is they almost certainly will return. The discard, especially the first one, is just a way of devaluing you as a person and exerting further control. Their hope is that once you realize how little you mean to them, you will work even harder to please them.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
If the narcissist keeps coming back – he does so because he is convinced that there is Narcissistic Supply to be obtained – or because he has yet to secure an alternative source of supply. Let him get his fix somewhere else. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to go “No Contact” and refuse to react to him.