According to social scientists and psychologists, haters are individuals who think and believe that they know the path to success but fail to get there. So, when they see someone close to them getting the limelight and achieving their goals, they begin to display resentment and jealousy.
They feel inadequate.
As psychologist and author Steven Berglas asserts, people look to others for a benchmark by which they can gauge their own success. When you change the benchmark in such a way that you are now above where they are, they start questioning their own skills and abilities and feel like they've failed.
It's true. Most people, even close friends and family, don't want to see you succeed. That's not because these people are 'bad' or 'hate' you in some way. In fact, these people probably really do (in their own way) care about you.
Everyone face criticism in some or the other manner. But it is always with an intention to let others down and not to help them in rectifying their flaws. This is not just limited to successful people only but because those people are famous and successful, it becomes easier to criticize and defame them.
But before anyone starts to feel bad for self-made millionaires because of the way others sometimes view them, realize that proportionately more people who are wealthy are making enemies. In fact, as they accumulate more wealth, they're very likely to make a greater number of enemies than the average person.
Seeing a friend amass a fortune can cause unwarranted resentment because it forces people to remember their own mistakes, downfalls, and flaws. This resentment obviously isn't good and it can quickly end years of friendship if left seething in silence.
Whether envy or jealous, they all happen because of your success, and they can't be helped by those feeling them. In fact, if someone denies feeling a bit of those – i.e. if they deny not feeling a bit jealous or envious – chances are that they are lying to your face.
It's simply an emotional reaction! Our brains are programmed into the pattern of comparing ourselves to others, and it's a hard cycle to break. You see someone around you accomplishing big things, and you automatically check in with how you measure up.
By achieving something meaningful in your life, your success can vindicate you in the eyes of others. Successful people can see past these little setbacks even when it appears difficult for most. Therefore, success is the best revenge.
People might begin to hate another person or group when they: Feel envy or want what the other person has. They may consider it unfair that someone has what they lack. Have contempt for another person or believe them to be inferior.
We envy rich people because we think that they do not have to work for their living and they can do whatever they please throughout the year.
Envy is often rooted in low self-esteem – sometimes from very early unmet childhood needs where the person feels inherently not good enough. An envious person may frequently 'compare and despair' and find themselves wanting.
Although being successful does not guarantee loneliness, it can be a risk factor for loneliness, especially among successful older men.
The path to success can be extremely lonely. You may have people around you, but despite that, sometimes you might feel lost and lonely. This happens because the lives of most successful people are different from those of the masses.
Most success stories are borne out of insecurities. They are what drives us to improve, to push forward, to keep learning and gain competence. Leverage your insecurities so they become a source of strength rather than a weakness.
One of the ultimate reasons why intelligent people have fewer friends is a simple fact that they tend to listen more than they like to talk. In a group of friends, you'll find the introverted genius sitting back, observing those around them, listening, and trying to understand their thinking.
According to Dunbar's research: 150 is the “magic number” when it comes to quantity of friends a person needs for success. These 150 people are described as “regular” friends, such as people you see at things like weddings or reunions, but don't necessarily see all that often.
While you may think a friendship will last forever, it's not uncommon for some friends to fade. Sometimes, a disagreement or falling out creates a gap between friends. Other times, commitments like work, distance, or family result in a friendship slowly fading away without animosity.
The biggest problem is a person. The same goal some people can achieve easily, but some can't achieve at all. That is not about the goal, it is about a person. Success is hard because some person is not willing or, don't have enough dedication or skills, and knowledge to achieve some goals.
Successful people know to avoid time-wasting activities, morale-draining company, and generally negative ways of thinking. And when you know what not to do, too, you can focus your attention on all the forward-moving changes that will propel you in the right direction.