Life feels hard due to a mix of universal challenges like unpredictability, loss, and societal pressures (poverty, inequality), combined with personal struggles like mental health issues (anxiety, depression), relationship problems, financial stress, or poor self-care, all amplified by comparing ourselves to others and feeling we lack control or support, making it vital to build resilience and seek help.
Life is hard because of interacting biological tendencies, cognitive biases, social structures and inevitable human losses. The burden can be reduced by lowering friction, strengthening energy systems, reorganizing priorities, building social scaffolding, and using targeted professional help when needed.
In it, he talks about how the ages of 22–42 are statistically the most unhappy period in life. Why? People come out of their early 20s and think life is supposed to be easy, but it's not. Those two decades are full of challenges.
One of the main reasons we struggle is that life is unpredictable. No matter how much we plan, things don't always go the way we expect. We might face unexpected problems like job loss, illness, or relationship issues. This uncertainty can make life feel difficult and out of control.
The observed age pattern for daily stress was remarkably strong: stress was relatively high from age 20 through 50, followed by a precipitous decline through age 70 and beyond.
Physical signs of stress
When it comes to mental health, there's a helpful framework called the 5 Cs of mental health—Clarity, Connection, Coping, Control, and Compassion. These five elements play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy mindset and emotional well-being.
Strong Relationships
Good relationships were a stronger predictor of happiness than student's university grades, family income, SAT score, age, gender and ethnicity [1]. This finding was not only limited to university students but in the GRANT study, which followed men throughout their entire lives.
Top stressors in life include the death of a loved one, divorce or separation, moving, a long-term illness, and the loss of a job. Stress can weaken your immune system, causing health problems like digestive issues and sleep disorders. To help manage stress, reach out to friends and family for support.
The "most dangerous age" is 15 years. During a single year here, referrals to the Youth Aid Bureau of the Milwaukee Police Department were headed by 15-year-olds - a total of 2,990. Referral of 16-year-olds was second highest, totaling 2,813.
A huge research study concluded that in developed countries, people start having decreasing levels of happiness starting at age 18. It continues in their 20s and 30s before reaching an unhappiness peak — or bottoming out, if you prefer — at the precise age of 47.2. That's exactly how old I am today.
Symptoms of stress
The first stage of a mental breakdown, often starting subtly, involves feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and increasingly anxious or irritable, coupled with difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep/appetite, and withdrawing from activities or people that once brought joy, all stemming from intense stress that becomes too much to handle.
The three most difficult things for a human being are not physical feats or intellectual achievements. They are, first, returning love for hate; second, including the excluded; third, admitting that you are wrong.
Here are some self-care tips:
Regardless of the impact you hope to achieve, the following exercises can help you learn how to improve your life and work toward personal development.
Healthy ways to cope with stress
Teas for stress and anxiety relief
The Four-Word Sleep Phrase: “This Thought Can Wait”
This simple sentence packs a surprisingly powerful punch. When you say it to yourself—gently but firmly—it creates a boundary between you and your runaway thoughts. It doesn't require solving, denying, or arguing with your brain.
What to avoid saying to someone with anxiety?
Stick to a sleep routine, and make sure you are getting enough sleep. Avoid drinking excess caffeine such as soft drinks or coffee. Identify and challenge your negative and unhelpful thoughts. Reach out to your friends or family members who help you cope in a positive way.
This puts you at higher risk of many health problems, including:
Physical symptoms
Chest pain or a feeling like your heart is racing. Exhaustion or trouble sleeping. Headaches, dizziness or shaking. High blood pressure (hypertension).