A destructive silence is one that reduces trust, impairs communication, and has the potential to cause harm in a relationship or network of relationships.
Here she talks about the negative impact of silence, especially a silence that is imposed upon others, especially women. This silence shuts down a person's value, one's voice, and one's right to self-determination. (p. 19) This kind of silence prevents one from speaking up and giving voice to one's credibility.
Silent treatment undermines the sense of safety essential for intimate sharing and connection. It's important for the targeted partner to recognize when it could be ignored or when it is abusive. It's especially important for the targeted individual to remember that they are not responsible for how a partner reacts.
Silence is scary not just because it's unfamiliar, but also because it opens the door to a whole bunch of thoughts, sensations, and emotions that noise keeps at bay. As Steven puts it, silence can be like “getting locked in a room with your harshest critic.”
Silence creates an environment conducive to focus and concentration, allowing you to perform tasks more effectively. One of the major reasons why silence has become an important part of everyday life is the ability to focus as the modern world and its various noises enter your brain all at once.
Quiet people are more likely to be introverts than extroverts and tend to be more creative and sensitive than the average person. They also tend to be private people who don't like being in large crowds or socializing much at all unless it's necessary for work or school.
The Power of Silence in Communication
Silence can be a powerful tool in communication, allowing individuals to convey messages without saying a word. In fact, silence can often speak louder than words, conveying emotions, intentions, and attitudes that may be difficult to express verbally.
The silent treatment can be used to manipulate and control the other person by making them feel guilty or ashamed. The silent treatment is often used as a form of punishment or as a way to control the conversation. It can also be used as a form of emotional blackmail.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
For Sedatephobic individuals, darkness might not be scary, but the silence and lack of noise can bring on a full blown panic attack. People suffering from Sedatephobia cannot withstand silence; they constantly need noise and human interaction.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well.
Over time, the use of the silent treatment can become emotionally abusive. Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence.
An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what's happening externally.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
Examples of passive-aggressive behavior include the use of silence, avoidance, sarcasm, and weaponized kindness.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
They will get fearful and nervous as soon as you begin ignoring them. This is what happens when you ignore a narcissist. They may start to obsess around you even more by sending text messages like “I sincerely apologize” or “May we talk?” Don't mind them, and witness the effects of ignoring a narcissist.
One of the greatest tools used to build tension and create an emotional impact in filmmaking is silence. By stripping a scene of sound, a void is created that audience members will have to fill themselves in order to make sense of what is currently happening.
The silent treatment, even if it's brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain.
Silence speaks volumes when they don't recognize, acknowledge, or refuse to understand. It's the loudest sound there is when words do not adequately express thoughts to deaf ears. It speaks through the hurt when it's too painful to talk. It lets them know they've hurt you, not even sure if they are aware or even care.
For me, silence conveys more than words because in the silence there is a profoundness: respect, awe, fear. In the silence, we can connect with our true feelings and ourselves, and this can be daunting. It is in the silence we have to come to terms with what we are facing.
Silence may be a part of our personality, certainly, but it may also be a coping mechanism that has prevented us from properly expressing and confronting emotions and feelings. We push the feelings down and replace them with substances to extinguish them.
They're Incredibly Self-Aware
Another reason why people with a silent nature are successful is their amazing sense of well, self-awareness. You can guarantee that they are perfectly aware of their shortcomings, their talents, and what they're capable of.
By establishing boundaries, enforcing consequences if necessary, sharing emotions with others, and speaking up for yourself; you will take away their power, thus protecting yourself from the narcissist's silent treatment.