Resentment can intoxicate a person, as feelings of anger and rage lend a false sense of power and do not always encourage a healthy form of expression. But this intoxication can become dangerous, as any intoxication can, when feelings of resentment grow unchecked and turn into hatred.
Resentment describes a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated. There is no one cause of resentment, but most cases involve an underlying sense of being mistreated or wronged by another person. Experiencing frustration and disappointment is a normal part of life.
By refusing to give up a “justified resentment,” you may believe that you are punishing the person who wronged you. However, resentful behavior actually leads you to feel hurt and victimized again, disempowered.To let go of resentment would be to experience increased freedom and mental health.
Historically, resentment has been connected to frustration, contempt, outrage, animosity, and ill will; and it has been linked to relative deprivation which refers to the perception that someone is worse off than other people one compares oneself to, leading to feelings of frustration and obliteration.
Resentment, used as a form of distrust, has a strong component of self-punishment: "the false appeal of self-punishment is that it seems to keep us safe from future hurt and disappointment", when in reality it is hurting the resenter more (i.e. how we mistreat or distrust others unrelated to the offense, ourselves, etc ...
That's because of the intense effect of resentment on the body—which essentially creates a toxic mind-body cycle. "Ruminating over the feeling of resentment and the interaction that brought about it can flood the brain with stress hormones that make you more susceptible to negative thoughts," says Dr. Awosan.
Hovering somewhere between anger and disappointment, resentment is a nagging feeling that you've been treated unfairly in some way by another person. In romantic relationships, this emotion can be challenging to identify yet highly destructive, eroding away at the very fibers that hold two people together.
Emotions of anger and resentment are often held in our jaw and around the mouth. If you often have a sore throat, mouth ulcers or grind your teeth at night, it could be a sign that there is an excess of overactive or stagnant energy in this part of your body.
An imbalanced liver and gallbladder can be caused by longstanding feelings of repressed anger, such as resentment, frustration, and irritability.
One thing you can know for sure is that if you don't try to address the resentment, it won't go away by itself. Resentment is a cancer that metastasizes and eventually makes it impossible for a healthy relationship to survive.
Holding onto a grudge can significantly impact your mental and physical health. “When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick,” says Angela Buttimer, MS, NCC, RYT, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist at Thomas F. Chapman Family Cancer Wellness at Piedmont.
Marriages can recover from resentment, but it takes time and consistent effort from both partners.
The difference between resentment and hate is that resentment is usually tied to a specific circumstance. You hate somebody in general, but you resent them for a particular event.
You begin to resent the other person and dwell on what they did to you. The injuries feel unforgivable, and the resentment turns into hate, like slowly hardening concrete.
Resentment is re-experiencing negative moments from the past that hurt you. It is a cocktail of anger, shame, mistrust, fear and sadness.
Resentment is a self-eroding emotional state, potentially leading to depression and physical symptoms, such as rashes and headaches. The function of resentment is not to make people feel powerless but to attract attention to a relationship in trouble in order to improve it.
Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions.
Resentment usually involves reliving a painful experience again and again. The individual fails to let go of the hurt and forgive the other individual, but clings on to the bitterness. Unlike anger that can sometimes be positive, resentment is never positive as it only hurts the individual.
Lower Back = Guilt, Shame, and Unworthiness
Feelings such as guilt, shame, and even sexual inadequacy or trauma can be stored here as well.
Resentment is the feeling that you did not get your way in the past. These feelings are therefore based on selfishness (the need to get your wants fulfilled).
Envy Leads to Resentment
Resentment is a complex emotion. It describes the displeasure — the anger, disgust, and contempt — you feel towards someone you think has wronged you in some way or violated some code of values.
In a series of studies, Vivian Zayas and Yuichi Shoda found that people don't just love or hate significant others. They love and hate them—and that's normal. The key to getting through the inevitable hard times, as my own research suggests, is to never stop trying to understand where your partner is coming from.