He feels unworthy of love deep down inside, so is trying hard to control his own nervous system and feelings. Guys who run hot and cold could be trying to get closer to you, but when hey feel they're not enough, could pull away love out of fear. He's emotionally unavailable.
Hot and cold behaviour is a manifestation of mixed signals — some indication that a person likes us, followed by something that can be interpreted as the opposite. That word interpreted is crucial because these signals can be real or imaginary — you are the person who assigns meaning to them.
Why does he act interested one minute and distant the next?
Why does he act interested one minute and distant the next? Perhaps he assumed you were in a relationship, so he convinced himself it would be a waste of time to ask you out. This situation is quite close to the feeling that a person is out of your league.
Playing hot and cold isn't specifically a bad thing. Some girls will do this because they like you and want to know if you like them back. There are some situations – I will explain them later – where playing hard to get is a great sign that a girl is deeply into you.
Mixed signals can definitely mean that the other person isn't going all in on you, but that's not the only answer at play. Often, those who give off mixed signals have avoidant attachment styles, a learned coping strategy where the person shies away from closeness and intimacy because it makes them uncomfortable.
Sometimes she flirts with me, and sometimes she ignores me. Why does she do that? Because it's fun for her, and she doesn't care enough about you to have an honest relationship. She might not relise that flirting, and ignoring are behaviors that carry a strong message, but in the opposite direction.
If a guy truly starts to ignore you, it's usually either because he is upset with you and needs you to give him space, he is losing interest, he feels like the relationship is moving too fast, he is playing games with you or trying to lead you on.
There is no single or definite reason why a person suddenly stops flirting. The only thing that you can be sure about is this: They don't want to flirt with you anymore. It is usually their own decision, but some instances probably made them decide that it was not a good idea anymore.
Inconsistency in relationships is unhealthy and destabilising. Blowing hot and cold is never a good sign and it is in fact a code red alert because you can never trust in this person enough to know what to expect from them. Your relationship will not be able to have balance.
He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant. Men who do not want a serious relationship or are already committed can act distinctly to women they like.
Can ignoring someone be a sign of attraction? Yes, it absolutely can. But it usually depends on how much he is ignoring you. There's a chance that he doesn't want to be too obvious about how he feels, but has misjudged it and now it just looks like he's ignoring you.
How can you tell if someone likes you but doesn't show it?
Notice if they look for attention.
Someone who likes you may do something to have you notice them. Watch if they talk louder when you're nearby, or starts laughing with their friends when you're around. They may not talk to you on a social website, but they'll "like" a bunch of things you do online.
It's fairly common to feel emotional or sexual attraction for those who ignore us. Thus, instead of interacting with people who treat you with affection and could become potential partners, most have a tendency to idealize those who reject them. Psychologically, this effect is known as “reactance”.
