Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Why do children get clingy? A child can show clinginess due to a fear of being away from their parents (separation anxiety) or because of stranger anxiety, where the fear is more about being around people the child doesn't know.
Your child is clingy because they're seeking limits.
Children often will “misbehave” or become clingy because they're seeking some input from you. They may want to know where they can go or where they can't go. They're testing some boundaries, which is normal.
After all, when your little one is feeling unsettled, it makes sense they turn to you, their caregiver, for comfort. Clinginess can last for a while, but your tot should have an easier time by the time they turn 2, Hovington says, adding that most kids fully outgrow it by 3 years old.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old.
Excessive attachment from young children places unrealistic demands on one parent while making the other feel hurt or cause withdrawal. Your child might also learn that he can get what he wants by whining and crying or be made to feel guilty because you want him to gush over you, too.
“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
Many people use clinginess as a coping mechanism to feel more secure. They keep their friends or romantic partners as close as possible to reduce the possibility of cheating or jealousy. Clinginess can come from deep inner insecurities that stem from childhood: Fear of being alone.
Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
It's common for children to develop favorites around age 2, and they may cycle from one parent to another, or prefer different parents for different activities, up through age 5. Showing a preference is one way children attempt to control their world, which might feel especially out of control right now.
A child or teen with low self-esteem may:
Cheat or lie when they think they're going to lose a game or do poorly. Show signs of regression, acting babylike or very silly. These types of behavior invite teasing and name-calling from other kids, worsening the problem.
What causes separation anxiety disorder in a child? Experts believe SAD is caused by both biological and environmental factors. A child may inherit a tendency to be anxious. An imbalance of 2 chemicals in the brain (norepinephrine and serotonin) most likely plays a part.
The Social Immaturity factor was composed of items that are not what one might typically expect to be prototypical of the ADHD child: clingy, preferring younger children, clumsy, and acting young, which may overlap with the social deficits of PDD.
This is exactly what's happening when your child's brain is growing new neurons and synapses, and it makes the amygdala hyper-sensitive and alert to any kind of stimuli. Essentially, your four-year-old's brain is triggering the fight or flight response for all sorts of things that aren't real threats.
Symptoms of anxiety in children
not eating properly. quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts. constantly worrying or having negative thoughts. feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
“Clinginess can begin to cross the line from healthy to unhealthy when the relationship begins to take too much time and attention away from other aspects of your life,” explains Sullivan. “This can include neglecting friends and family and spending too much time in constant communication with your partner.
Clinginess may be the result of anxiety, and can greatly interfere with the innocent pleasure that can be derived from a relationship. However, it is very possible to ease your way out of this behavior, into more healthy interactions with your partner.
Acting clingy
An individual might hold on to a relationship even though it consistently makes them feel frightened or unloved. Moreover, relational trauma can also lead people to feel and act clingy even when they're in a loving, stable relationship. This may occur with no obvious reasons for being insecure.
Dependent personality disorder usually starts during childhood or by the age of 29. People with DPD have an overwhelming need to have others take care of them. Often, a person with DPD relies on people close to them for their emotional or physical needs. Others may describe them as needy or clingy.
Psychologically, clinginess is about wanting to feel safe by reducing the emotional and physical distance between another person. It could be because someone is jealous, controlling, overprotective, or dependent.
Unhealthy attachments tend to form when an individual experiences inconsistent, neglectful, or abusive care during infancy and early childhood. For example, a child whose parents provide inconsistent emotional support may develop an anxious attachment style.
Sometimes referred to as resistant or insecure resistant attachment, children with an insecure ambivalent attachment style appear to have uncertain feelings towards their parent. They may appear to be dependent on their caregiver in some moments, but they may also appear to reject their caregiver in others.