Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
A person may find it difficult to leave a narcissistic partner because the narcissist might make them feel needed or special. Others may get hooked on the push-and-pull dynamic of being with a narcissist.
Narcissists can make us feel special.
If we were to lose them, we would also lose the spotlight that shines on them. We may feel resistant to leaving, because we're afraid of sacrificing the feeling of specialness we gained by being linked to them.
Divorcing a narcissist is a long and arduous process, drought with pain and obstacles. They are calculating, and will go to extreme lengths to punish their spouses for leaving them while simultaneously playing the victim to everyone else. They care very much about how they appear to others.
Because narcissists are unable to take responsibility for their own actions, they will blame you for the current state of the relationship and the divorce. In fact, their immediate reaction to the divorce may be to blame you and/or the children for their perceived shortcomings.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
Narcissists are notoriously difficult to divorce. They often use their partner's emotional needs against them, dragging out the process for as long as possible. This is because they are dependent on the “narcissistic supply” to feel good about themselves.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Breaking up with a narcissist is not for the fainthearted, and I cannot stress enough – you do not need to do it alone, and you should not do it alone. The narcissist may have created distance, physically or emotionally, between you and your family and friends. This is one of their telltale tactics.
Why a narcissist won't leave you alone after your relationship ends, according to a psychologist. If you end a relationship with a narcissist and cut off all contact, they may view it as a blow to their self-esteem. As a result, they may ignore your no-contact boundary and try to make you feel guilty.
The Guilt Factor
Guilt is a common emotion for people leaving an addict or a narcissist. Those leaving addicts often feel guilty as they fear the removal of stability and support may lead the addict into a downward spiral in the addiction.
Can a narcissist have a happy marriage? Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple's public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
This is what happens to a narcissist in the end: they become insecure and helpless. They realize they can't charm anyone, so they grow submissive and lonely. In the end, aging narcissists become needier yet quieter, finally accepting that people avoid them as they all know his/her true nature.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.