Not getting hard when turned on (Erectile Dysfunction, or ED) often happens due to a mix of physical issues (heart, diabetes, hormones, meds, smoking, alcohol) and psychological factors (stress, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, performance pressure) that interfere with the complex brain-nerve-blood flow process for erections, with causes frequently overlapping, requiring a chat with a doctor to find the root issue.
This can happen for many reasons, but some of the most common causes are nervousness, anxiety, or using alcohol or other drugs. The nervousness and anxiety you mention when having sex with your girlfriend can come from thoughts about what you're doing, your body, or even what your girlfriend is thinking.
The older we get, the more likely it is that the frequency of nocturnal erections will also decrease. Diabetes, cardiovascular disease or depression, and mental illness can also affect the ability to have an erection in the morning. So can certain medications.
You might only get a semi-erection due to issues with blood flow, nerves, hormones, or mental health, often stemming from conditions like diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, stress, anxiety, certain medications, smoking, or excessive alcohol/drug use, requiring a doctor's visit for proper diagnosis and treatment, as it's often a mix of physical and psychological factors.
The penis starts developing between the ages of 10 and 14 under the influence of growth hormones. You need to adapt to these changes to transition into adulthood. The penis will stop developing between the ages of 16 and 21 when it has reached its standard size. The penis changes both in size and function.
Flaccid and erect penis
During sexual arousal, nerve impulses increase blood flow to both cylinders. This sudden influx of blood causes an erection by expanding, straightening and stiffening the penis. Having trouble getting an erection once in a while is common.
To get "rock hard" again, focus on improving blood flow through lifestyle changes like a heart-healthy diet (berries, fish, greens), regular exercise (cardio, weights, pelvic floor), better sleep, stress management, and reducing alcohol/smoking; also, ensure full arousal, address underlying conditions, and consider medical options like ED drugs or implants if needed, as strong erections depend on physical and psychological health.
Causes of erectile dysfunction
This is usually caused by stress, tiredness or drinking too much alcohol, and it's nothing to worry about. It can also be a side effect of some medicines. If erectile dysfunction happens often, it may be caused by a condition such as: high blood pressure or high cholesterol.
Eat a Healthy Diet
Focus on a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Foods high in flavonoids, like berries, citrus fruits, and dark chocolate, can help improve circulation for better erections.
The "3-month rule" for girlfriends (or dating in general) is an informal guideline suggesting a probationary period of about 90 days to see if a relationship has long-term potential, moving past the initial "honeymoon phase" to reveal true compatibility, behaviors, and red flags before making big commitments like defining the relationship or saying "I love you". It's a checkpoint to observe real-life dynamics, communication, and how partners handle stress and differences, rather than a strict law, with the goal of avoiding deeper investment in an unsuitable match.
It's common for people not to have orgasms during sex. About 1 in 3 females don't have orgasms. Sometimes people who have orgasms go through periods where orgasms are less frequent or absent. Whilst it is quite normal to have difficulty reaching orgasm, it can be upsetting.
Men who have difficulty reaching ejaculation/orgasm identify putative reasons for their problem, ranging from anxiety/stress, inadequate stimulation, and low arousal to partner issues and medical reasons.
After you finish round one, try new forms of foreplay or sexual positions to make you feel aroused, excited and ready to go. Try to exercise and eat well. Generally speaking, staying active and maintaining a healthy body weight can do wonders for your sexual performance.
Many supplements are touted as being natural alternatives to Viagra for treating erectile dysfunction, including red ginseng, DHEA, and L-arginine. Research on all of these so-called “natural Viagra” supplements is limited and mixed, and none have been shown to work as well as Viagra.
What is the best way to fix erectile dysfunction?
Good news for men - the survey made it clear that erectile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed of. When asked about the experience, 39% of women admitted feeling 'undesirable', yet positive feelings of empathy and support were just as common, and many women described feeling both.
The following vitamins have been shown to help with erectile dysfunction:
Some psychological problems can cause the body's “fight or flight” response to become overly active, which may interfere with the work of nerves needed to cause an erection. Some causes of psychogenic erectile dysfunction include: Performance anxiety (fear that you won't satisfy your partner during sex)
Water and other low-calorie drinks make good alternatives to alcoholic or sugar-laden concoctions. Some research suggests that some juices (like grape and pomegranate juice) may help support erectile health, thanks to compounds called polyphenols.
Erectile dysfunction (ED), also known as impotence, is the inability to get and maintain an erection. Erectile dysfunction is a very common condition, particularly in older men. It is estimated that half of all men between the ages of 40 and 70 will have it to some degree.
Many pumps, pills, weights, exercises and surgeries claim to increase the length and width of your penis. But, there's little scientific support for nonsurgical methods to enlarge the penis. And no trusted medical organization endorses penis surgery for purely cosmetic reasons.
Hormonal fluctuations, changes in medication, a new exercise routine, more sleep, a new relationship, and an improved mental state can all increase your desire to have sex. Mismatched libido can cause relationship strain. If your partner has a low sex drive or a lower sex drive than you, relationship issues can arise.
How to get a harder erection
Decreased blood pressure in the penis
The veins in your penis are responsible for blood flow out of the penis back to the heart. During an erection, these veins are compressed to restrict blood flow, allowing pressure to build in your penis. If this compression reduces, it will cause you to lose your erection.
Erectile dysfunction medications, which include sildenafil (Viagra®), tadalafil (Cialis®), vardenafil (Levitra®) and avanafil (Stendra®), may help treat premature ejaculation, particularly in people with underlying erectile dysfunction. In certain cases, your provider may prescribe tramadol, an opiate medication.