A woman (or either spouse) gets money in a divorce not automatically due to gender, but because courts aim for a fair financial outcome, often granting support (spousal maintenance) or a larger share of assets when one partner has a lower earning capacity due to factors like staying home to raise children, career sacrifices, health issues, or age, leaving them needing help to meet living costs or regain financial independence. It's about redressing financial disadvantage, not rewarding one party, and aims to ensure both can meet their needs post-divorce, often involving child support too.
Research shows that divorce hits women far harder financially than it does men. The United States Government Accountability Office's Special Report to the Senate released a study showing that a woman's household income plummets by an average of 41% after a divorce.
In summary, a wife in a divorce settlement in Australia is entitled to a fair and equitable share of the assets and property accumulated during the marriage. This may include a share of the family home, vehicles, savings, and investments, and any superannuation that has been accumulated during the marriage.
But calling these payments a financial “reward” is very wrong. These payments help cover basic needs for the family after divorce. They pay for food, housing, clothes, and school supplies for the kids. In most cases, these payments aren't even enough to live on by themselves.
The default rule is that savings and investments built up during a marriage are subject to a fair distribution between both parties. There are always exceptions, however—and “fair distribution” may not mean a 50-50 split.
The most common examples are gifted and inherited assets. Money or property given to one spouse as a gift, or received through an inheritance, is generally considered separate property and cannot be touched in a divorce, as long as it has been kept separate.
The biggest divorce mistake is often letting emotions control decisions, leading to impulsive actions, but failing to seek early legal and financial advice is equally critical, as it can severely jeopardize your long-term financial security and rights, especially regarding property division and child custody. Other major errors include hiding assets, not focusing on children's needs, and using the process for revenge rather than resolution.
In the United States, it is the judge's role to decide how marital assets should be divided and whether spousal support (alimony) should be awarded. By closely examining each spouse's income, assets, and circumstances, the judge can determine whether support is necessary, how much should be paid, and for how long.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
When it comes to divorce, there is no rule that dictates you are automatically entitled to a specific part of the marital assets, such as a strict 50/50 split. Instead, the entitlement to assets and financial settlements is largely influenced by the context of your marriage and its consequential needs.
Moving out during a divorce is often considered a big mistake because it can negatively affect child custody, create immediate financial hardship (paying two households), weaken your negotiating power, and make it difficult to access important documents, while courts prefer maintaining the status quo for stability unless there's abuse. Voluntarily leaving can signal to a judge that you're less involved with the children and the home, making it harder to argue for equal time or possession later, even if your name is on the mortgage or lease.
These are known as non-matrimonial assets and are generally owned by an individual before the marriage, or were bought by an external source for one party. These include: Inheritance. Cars, other material items or savings accounts that were owned/accrued before the marriage.
Under the Family Law Act 1975, a person has a responsibility to financially assist their spouse, or former de facto partner, if that person cannot meet their own reasonable expenses from their personal income or assets.
Ultimately, the overall economic quality of a man's life, based on earnings and amount spent on living expenses, increases after his divorce. He continues to earn more but bears fewer family expenses. The overall economic quality of a woman's life, post-divorce, decreases.
The four behaviors that predict over 90% of divorces, known as Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which erode connection, respect, and safety, leading to relationship breakdown. These destructive communication patterns, if persistent, signal that a marriage is likely to end, with contempt being the most damaging.
Expect your income to drop after the divorce is final.
Consider all sources of income – including spousal and child support, keeping in mind that they won't last forever – as well as investment income. To develop a budget, use a detailed worksheet so you don't overlook any expenses.
The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship guideline to keep couples connected by scheduling specific, regular quality time: a date night every 7 days, a night away (getaway) every 7 weeks, and a romantic holiday every 7 months, often without kids, to foster intimacy, reduce stress, and prevent routine from overtaking the relationship. It's about consistent, intentional efforts to prioritize the partnership.
The Three A's – Adultery, Abuse, and Addiction
Therapists would love for every marriage to be able to be saved, but that just simply isn't realistic. Every marriage therapist knows when a couple comes into their office and are dealing with one of what we call, The Three A's …
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
The 2-2-2 rule for couples is a relationship guideline suggesting couples schedule regular quality time: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend getaway every 2 months, and a longer, week-long vacation every 2 years to maintain romance and connection by stepping away from daily routines. It's a flexible framework to ensure intentional time together, preventing couples from getting too caught up in life's demands.
The 3 C's of divorce are typically Communication, Compromise, and Cooperation, principles that help divorcing couples, especially those with children, navigate the process more smoothly by focusing on respectful dialogue, finding middle grounds, and working together for the children's well-being. Applying these fosters less conflict and better outcomes, prioritizing the children's welfare over past grievances.
Don't rush and make emotional decisions, turn down opportunities to spend time with your children, say bad things about your spouse, take on more debt, hide income and assets, get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, or say anything on social media about your situation.
As the emotional dust settles, regret often takes hold, especially after that pivotal first year. Many people feel regret after divorce, with about 27% of women and 32% of men regretting the choice.
For many people, the time between when they know they are getting divorced and when they actually separate is excruciating—it is often the hardest phase of divorce.
One helpful, though not exhaustive, framework for understanding these common causes is the “4 A's”: Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction.