Disobedience can have a variety of causes. At times, it is due to unreasonable parental expectations. Or it might be related to the child's temperament, or to school problems, family stress, or conflicts between his parents.
Turns out a lot of it has to do with her age. Experts say it's typical for toddlers to make the parent who's with them the most their main target for bad behavior.
The most important thing to remember is that children this age aren't typically making a conscious choice to misbehave – their defiant behavior is a side effect of them learning what the world is like, and how their big emotions and interactions fit into that.
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a type of behavior disorder. It is mostly diagnosed in childhood. Children with ODD are uncooperative, defiant, and hostile toward peers, parents, teachers, and other authority figures. They are more troubling to others than they are to themselves.
Specifically, children may behave defiantly in an attempt to control a situation where they feel anxious and helpless. Researchers have labeled this form of defiant or disruptive behavior as “reactive aggression” [7].
Disobedience can have a variety of causes. At times, it is due to unreasonable parental expectations. Or it might be related to the child's temperament, or to school problems, family stress, or conflicts between his parents.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
People sometimes call it Disneyland Dad Syndrome. This refers to a time when Mom typically got full custody of the kids. Dad, on the other hand, just had weekends and vacations. Therefore, time with Dad was the “fun time.”
Disrespectful behavior often comes down to kids having poor problem-solving skills and a lack of knowledge about how to be more respectful as they pull away. Often when kids separate from you they do it all wrong before they learn how to do it right.
The reasons behind disrespectful behavior include the perfectly normal and healthy process of your child growing up and away from his identity as a younger child. Teens naturally seek more independence as they get older, and mild disrespect is one way that independence gets expressed.
Disobedience can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust, as well as feelings of resentment and anger. This can make it difficult for parents and children to have a healthy and supportive relationship, which can have a negative impact on a person's overall well-being.
This is one of the most common conditions linked to ADHD. Children who have it act stubborn, get angry often, throw tantrums, and don't do what parents and teachers tell them to do. The behavior may sometimes be a reaction to frustration.
It is important to acknowledge the close connection between trauma and defiance. Defiance isn't usually the result of “bad parenting,” and it doesn't mean you have a “bad kid.” Children with a history of trauma exhibit a greater degree of defiant behavior than children without a history of trauma.
Decades of research show that authoritative parenting is the most effective style for raising productive, well-adjusted, functional children with ADHD.
Research has suggested that ODD cases are often comorbid to cases of ASD, but due to the difficulty of assessing similar symptoms and attributing the different motivations that underly an ODD diagnosis, it is enormously difficult for clinicians to separate the two.
Toddler defiance peaks at age 3 and for most children, as they mature defiance decreases — this is a normal part of development. For some children, defiance increases with age.