If you weren't close to the person who died, you might not feel the need to cry as others do. If the death was sudden, you might be in shock and unable to process your emotions. Some people internalize their emotions and grieve in their own way; this is also normal.
Some of us feel sad when someone dies. Some of us feel angry. But some of us feel nothing at all. Emotional numbness can be linked with a type of grief called 'inhibited grief,' which is characterised by suppressed emotions.
Although you didn't want your loved one die, it's only human to feel relief when their suffering comes to an end. It's also human to feel relief when the distress you felt as a result of having to watch your loved one struggle is over.
It is important to remember that not crying after experiencing the death of a loved one is okay. It's also okay to not feel anything for the first few days or weeks that follow. Your body processes different grief reactions in those first moments after experiencing loss.
Grief that is withheld and not recognised can have a negative impact on us emotionally as well as physically. If we unconsciously delay the grieving process and withhold emotions, this can manifest itself in physical ways such as headaches, difficulty sleeping, ailments and stomach problems.
Absent grief is when someone shows little to no signs of normal grief, such as crying, lethargy, missing the deceased, or anger. Many doctors believe that this kind of grief comes from an underlying avoidance or denial of the loss.
Avoidance is generally considered an adaptive response to loss, and an integral component of the initial, acute grief response. This avoidance may be of both situations and/or stimuli that are reminders of the loss and avoidance of emotions about the loss.
There's something called absent grief, a form of grief whereby a person shows no, or just a few, signs of distress about the passing of someone they love. This is a pattern of complicated grief considered to be an impaired response that results from either denial or avoidance of the loss's emotional realities.
Most people who are dying feel tired. They may want to sleep more often, or for longer periods. They may want to talk less, although some may want to talk more. They may want to eat less or eat different foods since their stomach and digestive system are slowing down.
Many psychologists believe this stems from an underlying avoidance or denial of loss. What is this? Of course you know that your loved one is gone; but the lack of grief symptoms results from being stuck in the first stage of grief (denial) and resistance to getting to the “acceptance” stage.
It is perfectly normal not to cry when someone dies. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone deals with loss in their own way. It doesn't mean that you don't care, that you are cold, or that you are broken in any way. It simply means that you process your emotions in a different way.
There's a dissonance within the person and they wonder, 'Why am I laughing at a time like this? '' It's common for people to use laughter in times of grief. Humor is both a defense mechanism in times of crisis and a tool for coping long after the event.
Although the intensity of your feelings may lessen over time, there is no timetable for how long you will grieve. The length of time is different for each person. For most people their mourning period is a long process and it can take years.
The mental health conditions most often associated with emotional numbness are depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Emotional numbness can also come up in some dissociative disorders, which are connected with a personal history of trauma.
It's not abnormal to not cry. If you are saddened by the death of a loved one, then it shouldn't matter how you respond to that. Everyone grieves in their own way, and just because you didn't cry doesn't mean that you're incompassionate or heartless. It just means that you react differently to the situation.
It's not an uncommon experience and it's called anhedonia. Simply put, anhedonia is when you lose interest in the social activities and physical sensations that you once enjoyed. It's a symptom of many mental health conditions, including depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
Visions and Hallucinations
Visual or auditory hallucinations are often part of the dying experience. The appearance of family members or loved ones who have died is common. These visions are considered normal. The dying may turn their focus to “another world” and talk to people or see things that others do not see.
Harry Potter : [He turns to Sirius] Does it-does it hurt? Dying? Sirius Black : Quicker than falling asleep.
Masked grief occurs when someone tries to suppress their feelings of grief and not deal with them or allow them to run their natural course. In the very early moments after a loss, our bodies and minds are clever in that the initial feelings of shock and denial are useful to us.
Many people don't cry because something led them to believe that crying is wrong. In reality, crying is a normal, healthy, and natural emotional response. It's not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it shows that you are acknowledging and processing your emotions.
Summary: Most of us experience the grief associated with the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives. New research now suggests that people who never get over their loss, who never "let go," may be activating neurons in the reward centers of the brain, possibly giving these memories addiction-like properties.
Avoidant grieving describes a grief style aimed at preventing thoughts of loss from occurring and suppressing them out of consciousness when they do (Shear, 2010; Stroebe and Schut, 2010).
Examples of Denial in Grief
Avoiding reminders of the loss. Staying busy to avoid thinking about your loss. Escaping pain from a significant loss by using alcohol or drugs. Taking care of other people instead of taking care of yourself.
Every person expresses grief differently. Even if you don't see others crying at a funeral, that doesn't mean they aren't also grieving. The most significant part of the grieving process is time. If you need to let a few (or several) tears out during the funeral, don't feel down on yourself.