Grief hurts because it upends our world. Everything changes. It's like our life has stopped, that life as we knew it is over. Grief turns OUR world upside down, while others' lives seem to go on unaffected. That hurts.
When you lose someone close to you, that grief never fully goes away—but you do learn to cope with it over time. Several effective coping techniques include talking with loved ones about your pain, remembering all of the good in your life, engaging in your favorite activities, and consulting with a grief counselor.
The pain is caused by the overwhelming amount of stress hormones being released during the grieving process. These effectively stun the muscles they contact. Stress hormones act on the body in a similar way to broken heart syndrome. Aches and pains from grief should be temporary.
There are a number of reasons why some people struggle with grief more than others. Complicated mourning often occurs when the death was sudden, unexpected, or traumatic. It is also common when the deceased person was young, because the surviving loved ones feel a sense of injustice.
Fearing death also makes it harder for us to process grief. A recent study found that those who were afraid of death were more likely to have prolonged symptoms of grief after losing a loved one compared to those who had accepted death.
One of the wildest innovations is “living funerals.” You can attend a dry run of your own funeral, complete with casket, mourners, funeral procession, etc. You can witness the lavish proceedings without having an “out-of-body” experience, just an “out-of-disposable-income” experience.
Visual or auditory hallucinations are often part of the dying experience. The appearance of family members or loved ones who have died is common. These visions are considered normal. The dying may turn their focus to “another world” and talk to people or see things that others do not see.
After someone dies, it's normal to see or hear them. Some people also reporting sensing the smell or warmth of someone close to them, or just feel a very strong sense of their presence. Sometimes these feelings can be very powerful.
Normally, the body is transported to a morgue or mortuary. Depending on the circumstances of the death, an autopsy may be performed. The body is then usually taken to a funeral home. The funeral home prepares it to be viewed by friends and family or makes it ready for burial or cremation.
Not everyone approaching the end of life has pain. If you do, your doctor or nurse will assess the pain and decide on a suitable medicine and the correct dose to manage it. They'll ask you (or your family or carers, if you're not able to communicate) questions about the pain.
In total, 7.4% of patients reported severe pain at the beginning of their palliative care and only 2.5% reported severe pain in the last few days. Breathing difficulties cause more distress than pain in the final days of life. These figures must be considered in relation to a person's wishes.
Significant pain is common but is often undertreated despite available medications and technology. Starting with an appropriate assessment and following recommended guidelines on the use of analgesics, family physicians can achieve successful pain relief in nearly 90 percent of dying patients.
Brain activity supports that a dying patient most likely can hear. Even if awareness of sound cannot be communicated due to loss of motor responses, the value of verbal interactions is measurable and positive. Patients appear comforted by the sounds of their loved ones (in person and by phone).
In time, the heart stops and they stop breathing. Within a few minutes, their brain stops functioning entirely and their skin starts to cool. At this point, they have died.
Gasping is also referred to as agonal respiration and the name is appropriate because the gasping respirations appear uncomfortable, causing concern that the patient is dyspnoeic and in agony.
It's typically considered more important to attend the funeral service. Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable only attending the funeral; however, you might like the chance to speak to the family in a more relaxed setting at the visitation. As long as you're kind and respectful, the choice is yours.
We get better at this as we age. A 2000 meta-analysis found that fear of death grows in the first half of life, but by the time we hit the 61-to-87 age group, it recedes to a stable, manageable level.
The good news is fear of death fades as a person ages. Men who experienced thanatophobia in their 20's usually overcome their fear and are less likely to feel dread towards the subject later on. Women on the other hand, have a higher chance of experiencing a re-emergence of the problem in their 50's.
The results indicate that older persons were not afraid of death, which is supported by earlier studies [6, 7, 11, 19]. In the present study, death was considered a natural and inevitable part of life.