People become more focused on certain connections and strive to retain them. As we grow older, we become busier at work and, for some, at raising a family. This cuts down on the amount of time we have to socialize.
“In adulthood, as people grow up and go away, friendships are the relationships most likely to take a hit,” my colleague Julie Beck wrote in 2015. The older you get, the more effort it takes to maintain connections, because you don't have as many built-in opportunities to see your friends every day.
Soon after your mid-20s, your social circle shrinks, according to a recent study by scientists from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England.
It's very natural for a friendship to naturally reach an end. Over time, your inner circle—those who you share the most of your life with—will get smaller, but stronger, too. When you choose positive, kind, and supportive friends, you'll find partners to share your life with.
While people have known for years that friendships are unquestionably good for your health, experts say it's only natural for acquaintances and even friends to fall by the wayside as time goes on – and it's nothing to feel guilty about.
Circumstances: Your lives have changed (no longer working together, going to the same school, etc.). Distance: You've grown apart in terms of interests or commitments. Lying: Your friend is deceitful. Negativity: Your friend spends more time cutting you down than building you up.
The average lifespan of a friendship? 10 years. Here's why. This is the psychology of why friendships (and marriages) fail.
Experts suggest seeing your friends at least once a week, if not more! Having good friends not only increases life expectancy but it also reduces stress and depression and can have a good influence on your health too.
"As we become adults, we have less and less environments where those ingredients are at play." Adults with jobs, kids, and a collection of other responsibilities also simply have less time available for making friends.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
All you need is three (or four, or five)
In the 1990s, evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar published a study claiming that humans can cognitively handle up to 150 meaningful social relationships (which includes family and friends) at any point, colloquially known as Dunbar's Number.
A new study suggests that both men and women continue to make lots of friends until the age of 25, but after this, it's claimed that friendships begin to fall away rapidly, with the decline continuing for the rest of our lives.
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
39% have 3-5 close friends. 18% have 6-9 close friends. 27% have 10 or more friends.
If you are the one who is constantly reaching out (i.e., you always text or call first) and they are not reciprocating your efforts, this could be a signal that you are in a one-sided friendship. Action Tip: Go through your phone and list the top 10 people you communicate with every month.
Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years!
Most friendships end gradually or fade away over time. Excuses are made for not getting together or there may be changes in circumstances (e.g., moving away, a new baby) that make it difficult for the friends to continue to interact as they once did.
In fact, recent research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that it takes approximately 200 hours for a 'best friendship' to develop!
The most significant factors in ending a friendship were discovered to be, broadly, selfishness, being more likely to end friendships with those who looked after their own interest, were not supportive of them, were dishonest, and were taking without giving, among the prime reasons.
Sometimes, people initiate the cut-off because they feel some sort of way about your friendship. And have been for awhile. Maybe they've been feeling neglected, maybe you've been really overbearing (and didn't know this), maybe you were really insensitive (and weren't aware of this). Etc.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
The five stages of grief is a framework that includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After losing a best friend, you may experience some or all of these feelings.