By choosing dad as the favourite, your child is testing her developing autonomy and control. If parents can manage their own emotions around this (even though it might be very difficult for the excluded parent), it can be a very positive and necessary part of their development and wellbeing,” says Tarryn.
It's not uncommon for children to prefer one parent over the other. Sometimes this is due to a change in the parenting roles: a move, a new job, bedrest, separation. During these transitions, parents may shift who does bedtime, who gets breakfast, or who is in charge of daycare pickup.
Don't give in to every demand that your partner take over. Make sure your child sees you both interacting in a positive way. Showing a united front will prevent an “us against her” dynamic from developing, and dads can help by telling fun stories about Mom.
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
The phrases, 'I want mommy' or 'I want daddy to do it,' have become common and frequent in your home. The good news is that this phase is not just happening to you. Toddlers start to prefer one parent over the other at some stage. And as unsettling as this may sound, this is a healthy part of your baby's development.
Why a child only wants one parent. Sometimes when your child favors you or your partner, this is a way of showing toddler independence. She wants to prove that she can make her own choices (in the same way she insists on The Runaway Bunny every night or the green sippy cup every time she has something to drink).
Some people with daddy issues avoid getting close to anybody. When challenges arise in a relationship, they tend to run away. They also worry about and have difficulty with intimacy. Anxious preoccupied daddy issues cause some people to feel unsettled when they're not with their partners.
By choosing dad as the favourite, your child is testing her developing autonomy and control. If parents can manage their own emotions around this (even though it might be very difficult for the excluded parent), it can be a very positive and necessary part of their development and wellbeing,” says Tarryn.
"This is the stage in a child's life when they're trying to figure out how much power they have, and they feel like they don't have much." So they decide to listen to one parent and tune the other out.
This may result in a condition called attachment disorder. It usually happens to babies and children who have been neglected or abused, or who are in care or separated from their parents for some reason. The effect of not having this bond is problems with behaviour and in dealing with emotions and new situations.
Oedipus complex: This is when male children feel as though they are competing with their father for their mother's affection and attention.
Not worrying may be easier said than done, but truly, parental preference is a normal and healthy part of toddlerhood. It can pop up between ages one to three, as children become more independent and learn to express their opinions.
It's often a child's way of trying to foster connection at bedtime. As hard as it is, try not to take it personally if your child picks the other parent over you. Children tend to have big feelings held in all day and sometimes they come flooding out at bedtime.
Kids just expect more from their mother. You are their number one nurturer, feeder, comforter and carer. Dads might be doing 50 per cent or more of the parenting, it doesn't matter. This is a biological instinct that babies crave their mother's attention.
While moms tend to prefer soft singing and gentle swaying, dads are apt to crank up the volume on their shush and add some bounce to their jiggle, quickly reaching needed “takeoff velocity” to flip on the calming reflex.
Toddlers can be away from either parent for 2 or 3 days. Here is an example of a typical visitation schedule for a toddler.
“Kids push boundaries, have meltdowns, and are so much worse around their parents because they feel safe and secure with their parents,” explained Crystal I. Lee, PsyD, to Reader's Digest.
Toddlers Feel More Comfortable Around Mom
In most cases, this is usually the mother. With moms, children feel like they can let go and express how they feel, because they believe that their mom will make it better. This is what then leads to more whining.
Most mothers agree that the early stage between the ages of one to three can be the most complex. This is the stage at which toddlers begin to show their first signs of independence.
It's common for children to develop favorites around age 2, and they may cycle from one parent to another, or prefer different parents for different activities, up through age 5. Showing a preference is one way children attempt to control their world, which might feel especially out of control right now.
The Electra complex is a term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex. It involves a girl, aged between 3 and 6, becoming subconsciously sexually attached to her father and increasingly hostile toward her mother. Carl Jung developed the theory in 1913.
All mammals are genetically closer to their fathers.
All mammals are genetically closer to their fathers than their mothers, according to research by scientists at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine.
Kids who grow up with a troubled relationship with their dads may develop attachment issues with others too. Given that their childhood was full of problems, insecurity, mistrust, they're bound to instill the same feelings as they grow up and start their own life as an adult.
The studies also found that boys with absent fathers can go on to seek out risky behaviors, such as doing drugs or getting into crime. These behaviors could be linked to a desire to soothe anxiety or depression (through the drugs) or back to the work ethic issues if the father wasn't a good career role model (crime).
“Daddy issues” is a gendered term, often lacking empathy, that refers to the link between challenges in relationships and less-than-ideal father figures.