They do it for one or two reasons. One reason is because they want to numb the pain that they are feeling at the loss of a loved one and the second reason is because some of them may already be alcoholics. Are there people that just randomly attend a funeral?
It is common to give your guests water and coffee, but you can serve alcoholic beverages as well. Serving alcohol at a funeral can be acceptable as long as you get it right. If you're unsure whether or not to serve alcohol at a funeral, consider some of these ideas.
Drinking may numb the pain temporarily, but the effect is always short-lived. There is no form of self-medicating with substances that will effectively erase the pain of loss. In fact, alcohol acts as a depressant in the body, intensifying negative emotions, like shame or sadness.
It is considered disrespectful to drink at a funeral. Funerals are meant to be a time to mourn the loss of a loved one and to remember them. Drinking alcohol would be seen as a way to try to forget the person who has died, which is not the point of a funeral.
What is a wake? A wake, also known as a funeral reception, is an event where close friends and family of the deceased gather together to pay their respects to their loved one. Traditionally, a wake referred to the viewing held before the funeral, but nowadays it's usually held after the funeral or memorial service.
If you are an ex-spouse of the deceased or their family
There may be some exceptions to this. If you have a poor relationship with your ex-spouse's family, it may be inappropriate for you to attend the wake. You can attend the funeral but do so unobtrusively.
Attending the funeral reception
If you cannot attend the funeral, it is acceptable to attend the wake, but be sure to let the family know in advance that you would like to pay your respects in this way and maybe bring a thoughtful gift or flowers to the next of kin to show you are thinking of them.
Some cultures believe that you should ritually cleanse yourself after services for the dead, but that is religious/cultural, rather than biological. You should not get anything on you at a funeral that would require bathing right away.
Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
While alcohol may initially numb the painful feelings that come with grief, it can intensify depression and prevent meaningful healing. In the long term, drinking can worsen and prolong the stages of grief. However, it's never too late to change your relationship with alcohol, and find new ways of coping.
Alcohol affects the part of your brain that controls inhibition, so you may feel relaxed, less anxious, and more confident after a drink. But these effects quickly wear off. The chemical changes in your brain can soon lead to more negative feelings, such as anger, depression or anxiety, regardless of your mood.
It can intensify negative emotions
Similar to its impact on anxiety, not only can alcohol worsen depression, it can actually cause it too.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
Is It Okay to Smile at a Funeral? It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
While shorts are never appropriate, for men or women, and miniskirts are frowned upon; bare legs are acceptable if your skirt or dress falls to your knee.
At some point in history, a solid portion of the population believed: It was bad luck to wear anything new to the funeral, especially shoes. If rain falls during a funeral procession or if there is thunder during a burial, it's a sign the deceased is destined for heaven.
If you have an adult with you at the funeral home, it is ok to touch a dead body, and you will not get in trouble. You are naturally curious, and sometimes when you see and touch a dead body it helps you answer your questions. Remember to be gentle and have an adult help you.
Can you wear jeans to a funeral? The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so.
A Filipino superstition holds that you should not go straight home after a funeral. If you do, death may follow you. So stop off somewhere else first.
It is not a selfish act to request not to have a funeral after you pass away. There are many reasons why you may not want to have a funeral and any of them are valid. You deserve to have any send-off that you wish for, so don't be afraid to share your last wishes with your family openly and honestly.