When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.
Ignore him back. The best way to learn how to make a guy feel guilty for hurting you and ignoring you is to just ignore him and get on with things. It's hard and it'll take a lot of your strength but it's easier than wrapping yourself in knots trying to figure things out. You deserve so much better anyway.
Pushing people away is one way of avoiding intimacy. In fact, this avoidance can act as a defense mechanism for people afraid of getting hurt in relationships. This could be because a past relationship ended badly, perhaps with rejection or even bereavement.
Why do I still want to be with someone who hurt me?
Sometimes, you stay in an abusive relationship because you're afraid to lose what you have. This is a very common reason why people stay in unhealthy relationships. They are afraid to be left behind by their partners. They are scared to live without them.
Why does it hurt so much? Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt.
You may always carry those feelings with you in some form. Love doesn't always go away just because we want it to. But even if you can't entirely stop loving someone who doesn't love you or who's caused you harm, you can manage those feelings in positive, healthy ways so they don't continue to cause you pain.
If your guy does something that hurts you, tell him. Little confrontations along the way make for a much healthier relationship based on good communication. We all hurt each other, but we must learn to express our emotions before we get hit the boiling point.
Sometimes, releasing your anger is as simple as talking to the person who hurt you, and it can make a world of difference. It might help to express your feelings clearly to them. It's also possible that there was a misunderstanding, and the other person might not even be aware of it.
If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you.
Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.
