The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they'll feel tomorrow, or the next day.
Emotions get too intense for him
Sometimes, processing emotions are hard for any gender. But men usually end up withdrawing after experiencing intense emotions. Let them be during this time; they will come back to you when they're ready.
He Is Afraid Of His Feelings For You
He might be scared of the fact that he will disappoint you or doubtful if he is ready to commit. Being afraid of feelings and love is the number one reason men pull away.
It may simply mean the guy is excited about your relationship and wants to see it flourish. In other cases, though, coming on strong could be an indication of jealousy, deceit, or control issues, all of which have the potential to harm you and your partner.
Be careful of Love bombing when someone showers you with attention, affection, and gifts. It is a red flag if they are coming on too strong too fast!
When you come on “too strong,” you signal to someone that you're willing to change your life to fit them. That's a great thing when you're moving into relationship territory, but early on—when someone's being allergic to a pet you might want in the future can be a deal-breaker—that kind of eagerness is overwhelming.
When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
Give him space; stop worrying about what you did to turn him off. When he withdraws, it can negatively impact your ego and self-esteem. So, shift your focus – get busy or distracted. Don't stop your daily routine and don't feel guilty about focusing attention on yourself.
Things You Should Know
If a guy distances himself after sex, it could be because he wants to take things slow, he has a super busy schedule, or he struggles with intimacy issues. When a guy distances himself after intimacy, you can reach out to him to get clarity, or you can focus on self-care and moving on.
Leave him alone when he pulls away
A lot of it is related to fear of commitment, which could be stemming from past relationship trauma. If you believe that your guy is pulling away, give him that space to deal with his emotions.
Do guys distance themselves when they like a girl or guy? Yes, if they are not convinced the person loves them as much as they love that person. Some men might like you but don't want to look desperate. They believe you might want to take them for granted.
He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant.
Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
Space is especially important if he pulls away early in the relationship when you haven't been dating long. Don't chase him or contact him at all; this can send the message that you're overly attached to him. Chasing after him may end up pushing him away even more, whereas distance can help the heart grow fonder.
One of the most common reasons men blow hot and cold is that they're just not that into you. It's hurtful, but it happens. If he's not invested in the relationship, he may act inconsistently simply because he doesn't care enough to make the effort.
A healthy relationship is where both partners have enough time and space for themselves. Hence, if you are struggling to figure out ways to keep your man interested, remember this golden rule – give him and yourself space, and allow him to feel your absence.
If he's affectionate, pays attention to you, and puts effort into the relationship, you might be overthinking the situation. If he frequently cancels plans with no explanation or apology, ignores you, and doesn't initiate conversations, he might be losing interest.
Manipulative behavior is a major red flag in men because it implies that they are trying to control you. Manipulation typically involves someone exploiting someone else's feelings or insecurities to get what they want. They might do this by making someone feel guilty or ashamed.
Caution: if someone is moving too fast, it's one of the clearest relationship red flags. This is an indication that they are either desperate or that they want to catch you before you discover some deep, dark secret.
If you've come off too strong and your crush pulls away, give them a bit of time and space. Check-in with yourself and see how you feel about this person's reaction to you. If your crush pops up again, pay attention to them. If the opportunity arises, you can gently ask if you've made them uncomfortable at any time.
“Usually, it's used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It's a way to say, 'I'm not totally sure I am into your or not. ' Or, 'I'm not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
Maybe he has family or personal issues going on, or maybe there is a situation at work that is bothering him. There could be even something in the relationship that he is stressed out about. He could also want the support, but not know how to talk to you about it at all.
Sometimes the stress outside of your relationship becomes so overbearing that you decide you need to put things on hold to focus on it. This can lead a guy to suddenly becoming cold and distant. Make sure you pay attention to what's going on in a guys life outside of his relationship with you.