“Why would we not respect that earlier just because it's part of this cultural tradition?” Jamie Howard, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, said most young children who cry in front of characters like Santa Claus do so out of fear and unfamiliarity.
Robyn Fallshaw, psychologist, explains why it's not uncommon for young children to be scared of Santa…. “Children's natural sense of self-preservation often kicks in when they are forced to sit next to a man they've never met who has a bushy white beard and wears a strange red costume,” Robyn says.
These are good indicators they're ready to hear the truth." As for when the shift starts to happen, it's different depending on the child, but expect the questioning to get serious somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10.
According to Pyschologies.co.uk, Santaphobia is most common in children under four years old. In most cases, once children get to 5 years, they lose their fear and start to get wholly excited again. As toddlers, our little ones are starting to feel emotions in completely different ways to what they've ever experienced.
Therefore fantasy and mythical beings, such as Santa, the tooth fairy and even Disney princesses can be very real to young children. Allowing your child to believe, even though they eventually will find out the truth, will not be traumatizing or harmful to their development.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
The Age Most Kids Figure It Out
According to psychologists, believing in Santa can be beneficial to children because it teaches selflessness and service to others.
While everyone is different, according to a recent poll by House Method, the average age kids in the United States stop believing in Santa Claus is 8.5 years. So, chances are good that somewhere around then is the right age for your child to learn the true story about Santa Claus.
“Children's belief in Santa starts when they're between 3 and 4 years old. It's very strong when they're between about 4 and 8,” she said. “Then, at 8 years old is when we start to see the drop-off in belief, when children start to understand the reality of Santa Claus.”
Many parents dread the day their child begins questioning if Santa is real. While there is no perfect age to have this conversation, parents often start noticing their children becoming skeptical around eight, but this can vary. However, it may be beneficial to initiate the conversation before middle school.
Tell Them Your Story
Another way to make the transition to a Santa-less Christmas is to tell your kids how you found out the guy in the red suit isn't real. Try to find a few points they can relate to and explain how Santa is used by all parents to make Christmas a special experience for their kids.
“Are Mom and Dad really Santa?” We know that you want to know the answer and we had to give it careful thought to know just what to say. The answer is no. We are not Santa. There is no one, single Santa.
Taken together, it looks like lying to your kids is generally a bad idea. However, if you want to tell a little fib to your kid about the old man from the North Pole, you probably aren't going to ruin their life or send your relationship with them into a tailspin.
There isn't a right or wrong age to tell kids the truth
And it occurs to them that flying reindeer and a guy coming down the chimney might be a little far fetched. So don't be surprised if your child starts asking questions.
As Christmas is right around the corner, Santa Claus who normally brings presents for good kids on Christmas brings a lump of coal for those who have not been good. For decades, parents have warned their children that if they are bad then all they will get for Christmas is a lump of coal.
8- to 9-Year-Olds
Some kids are ready for the truth at this age; others are not. If needed, ask a few probing questions like, "Why do you ask?" before deciding how to answer. Keep in mind that research shows that even when children discover that Santa is not real, they still like the idea of Santa.
Studies suggest children with rich fantasy lives may actually be better at identifying the boundaries between fantasy and reality. But if parents want to, by all means they're entitled to do so. Any benefit from believing in Santa vanishes when children stop believing in him.
Santa is an idea
The truth is, he's not a person at all – he's an idea. Get them to think of all those presents Santa gave them over the years. Explain that you actually bought those yourself and that Santa Claus is the idea of giving for the sake of giving, without thanks or acknowledgement.
Claus is much more tight-lipped about her age than Santa is. The last time she talked about it, she mentioned she stopped counting when she turned 170. Similar to Santa, the elves believe Mrs. Claus is roughly the same age, around 1,700 years old.
If your child is older than 10 and still believes in the Easter Bunny, you should fill them in on the truth. Let your kids know that although the bunny itself is imaginary, it's part of a tradition that brings a lot of joy and fun to kids at Easter time.
Most Americans (67%) stopped expecting Santa to shimmy down their chimney by the time they entered seventh grade. Half (49%) of Americans say they stopped believing in Santa before the age of 10 – with a quarter (23%) reporting that they lost sight of him between the ages of seven (10%) and eight (13%).
While the last baby teeth generally aren't lost until age ten or 11, most children stop believing in the tooth fairy by the time they're seven or eight. Of course, children are more than happy to play along with the game when there's money at stake!
Beliefs in Santa are incredibly prevalent among children in many Western countries. One study by Jacqueline Woolley at the University of Texas at Austin (UTA) found that more than 80 per cent of 5-year-olds in the US are convinced of his existence.