You Are a People-Pleaser Toxic people are highly attracted to people-pleasers. You'll do anything for them because if they like you, you feel valued. What's worse is when toxic people manipulate you into doing for them, all the while undermining your value. A toxic person abuse themselves, others, and/or substances.
Attracting toxic people doesn't mean that you're a bad, useless, or worthless person. However, it does suggest that you have unmet needs and issues from your past which have not been fully processed and which you would benefit from exploring, with the help of a therapist if needed.
Toxic attraction is when we're drawn to people who are bad for us, who have dysfunctional — even destructive — behaviours in intimate relationships. Even when we're aware of it, we stay — or keep going back for more.
First, we tend to be drawn to people who are similar to us. We're commonly attracted to those who remind us of loved ones, such as parents, former significant others, or friends. “Subconsciously, hormones are activated because the other person has triggered some kind of similarity or resemblance,” says Beverly B.
Good looks, ambition, and a good sense of humor are common qualities that people seek out. But there are other factors you're likely unaware of that play an important part in who you're attracted to. Past experiences, proximity, and biology all have a role in determining who catches our attention and who doesn't.
Some theories suggest this is our subconscious mind trying to resolve old wounds. Even minor traumas, like the feeling “my parents never heard me,” can lead you to be attracted to, or hypersensitive to, someone who struggles to be present with you. They are, in essence, lighting up old wounds within you.
Many empaths have previously been targets of narcissists or other toxic people. They are hugely attractive to this group of people. Why? Empaths feel what others are feeling, including toxic people, and they respond to make that person's life better –that is, until they have awakened.
Our psychological history inclined us to fall for certain kinds of people. Our childhood trauma or history defines us at a certain level to whom we are attached. We love the feeling of recreation, so we tend to fall for the people who are in any way gives us those vibes or feelings when we were small.
Jealous friends are usually people with low self-esteem and diminished self-image. HSPs (highly sensitive person) and highly empathetic people often attract people like these because they often feel the need to help others. They soon form a friendship with them because they like to lift other people.
Possessiveness is considered attractive in small doses, because to most women, it acts as a reminder that the guy they love is highly attentive and concerned about them. Understandably we find it cute and attractive, more so if you get just brief glimpses of it.
It could be because of your reputation, especially if you're popular at your school, workplace, etc. Another reason could be that you have desirable traits, such as intelligence or the ability to lead. It could also be because you allow people to step on you, so people see no harm in using you for their own benefit.
Often empaths are targeted by sociopaths because they pose the greatest threat. The empath is usually the first to detect that something is not right and express what s/he senses.
Empaths are "emotional sponges," who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. This makes them them very attractive to narcissists, because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way.
Traits of an Empath
Because they can become easily overwhelmed by absorbing other people's energy, they may look for outlets through substances or behaviors. Binge eating, shopping sprees, and substance abuse are all behaviors that can lead to compulsive habits that eventually turn into addictions.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Qualities Most People Find Attractive: Final Thoughts
Kindness; Honesty; Empathy; Humility.
You are what you attract because like attracts likes. In other words, you always find yourself attracted to people with the same personality traits as you. If you are a pleasant person, you will attract happy people. However, if there is nothing that connects you, it may not possible to even be friends.
Nothing attracts more to a man than a woman with a high self-esteem. A confident woman is independent and can tackle any situation in her life. Even in the long run, the guy can depend on his partner and feel secured.