People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) don't necessarily like chaos, but find it familiar and even comforting because stable environments feel threatening and unfamiliar, a result of intense emotional dysregulation, deep-seated fears of abandonment, and a weak sense of self, often stemming from childhood trauma. Chaos distracts from overwhelming inner pain, and their extreme reactions (like rage or self-harm) are desperate attempts to manage unbearable emotions or avoid perceived abandonment, creating cycles of instability that feel more "normal" than calm.
Some of the signature behaviors of borderline personality disorder—self-cutting, sexual promiscuity, drug use, bingeing and purging, suicidal gestures—are attempts to escape from the intense negative emotions that overwhelm them. As a result, they often court chaos.
Online queries often ponder why narcissists cause chaos or thrive in tumult. Beyond control, chaos becomes addictive. The chaotic environment is a routine, and without it, individuals feel disturbed and lost.
BPD Meltdown
During a meltdown, people may experience extreme mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down. Understanding how BPD contributes to meltdowns is crucial for developing coping strategies and providing support to manage and navigate these overwhelming emotional experiences.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental condition in which a person has long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions. These inner experiences often result in impulsive actions and chaotic relationships with other people.
BPD-related psychosis typically differs from other psychotic disorders as symptoms are usually brief, stress-triggered, and the person often maintains some reality testing. Psychotic symptoms in BPD can include paranoia, auditory hallucinations, visual distortions, and severe dissociative episodes.
People with BPD often feel emotions much more intensely than others, and it may take longer for those feelings to pass. This means that situations or events that may not faze another person can be highly disruptive and upsetting for someone with BPD.
People with borderline personality disorder have a strong fear of abandonment or being left alone. Even though they want to have loving and lasting relationships, the fear of being abandoned often leads to mood swings and anger. It also leads to impulsiveness and self-injury that may push others away.
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Things That Trigger Anger in People With BPD
People with BPD can feel triggered by situations that evoke fear of abandonment, criticism, or rejection. Some common scenarios where this can happen include: Feeling ignored, left out, or abandoned. Arguments or conflict in close relationships.
In practice, the vast majority of so-called anarchists are people who get off on chaos.
The 5 main habits of a narcissist center on an inflated self-image, need for adoration, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, and manipulative behavior, often seen as grandiosity, constant need for admiration, inability to understand others' feelings, expecting special treatment, and exploiting people for personal gain. These traits, rooted in Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), create a cycle of seeking validation, demeaning others, and using manipulation for control.
Histrionic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called “Cluster B” personality disorders, which involve dramatic and erratic behavior.
In BPD, hypersexuality can be seen as a maladaptive coping mechanism used to manage intense emotional distress or feelings of emptiness, often associated with the disorder. The temporary relief or pleasure derived from sexual activity can provide a fleeting escape from these uncomfortable feelings.
The number one trait of a narcissist is often considered a grandiose sense of self-importance (grandiosity) combined with a profound lack of empathy, where they see others as tools for their own gain and have an inflated, often unrealistic, view of their own superiority, needing constant admiration without acknowledging others' feelings or needs, as highlighted by HelpGuide.org and The Hart Centre. This core creates other behaviors like entitlement, manipulation, and arrogance, making them believe they deserve special treatment.
The evidence reports that around 20–50% of patients with borderline PD experience psychotic symptoms [4], also that psychotic disorders are observed in 38% of these patients and the prevalence of 20% of psychotic disorder diagnosis not otherwise specified is the most common subtype [10].
Conflicts and disagreements are difficult for people with BPD, as they interpret these as signals of uncaring or relationship termination, generating feelings of anger and shame.
Jobs that draw on empathy, communication, and understanding, traits often strengthened by lived experience with BPD, can also be deeply rewarding. Examples include: Teaching assistant or education support worker. Counsellor, peer support, or mental health worker.
How can I help myself in the longer term?
These thoughts may spiral into thought patterns like, "She probably hates me," or "I'll never have a friend who sticks by my side." With these spiraling thoughts come spiraling symptoms, such as intense emotions, anger, and urges to self-harm.
Many Autistic people are misdiagnosed with borderline/emotionally unstable personality disorder (BPD/EUPD), with most professionals preferring to accept the initial diagnosis rather than acknowledging the realities of what it means to be Autistic.
The "3 C's of BPD" typically refer to advice for loved ones of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, reminding them: "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it," to help set boundaries and avoid taking on undue responsibility for the person's actions or illness. Another set of "C's" describes core BPD traits for individuals: Clinginess (fear of abandonment), Conflict (intense relationships/moods), and Confusion (unstable self-image).
Avoid sarcasm or other tones that may be misunderstood. Tone it down and slow down to allow the person a moment to process their feelings. Listen without expressing personal judgement and blame and reflect back their own words in a calm manner.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition. You may have extreme mood swings, unstable relationships and trouble controlling your emotions. You have a higher risk of suicide and self-destructive behaviors.
Low Self-Esteem. A deep sense of inadequacy, shame or guilt can make honesty feel like a risky venture. When someone with BPD believes they aren't good enough or have a negative opinion of themselves, they may say what they want others to hear, like embellishing details or fabricating stories.