Individuals with ADHD often experience social difficulties, social rejection, and interpersonal relationship problems as a result of their inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Such negative interpersonal outcomes cause emotional pain and suffering.
Poor concentration can make it hard to appear interested, as people with ADHD can drift off in conversations or when discussing family matters and plans. The difficulties caused by attention deficit in ADHD can lead to a lack of confidence, which can affect a persons ability to form and maintain relationships.
ADHD and relationships can mean that once you move past the exciting romantic stage into the steady phase, you might find yourself chomping at the bit. Or, worse, sabotaging all and breaking up.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
One of the primary symptoms of adult ADHD is impulsivity. Unfortunately, impulsivity is often a driving force of extramarital affairs. While the link between ADHD and affairs is understudied, it isn't as uncommon as you might think.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
Falling in love can be an emotional roller coaster for most teens. But for teenagers with ADHD, symptoms like impulsivity or trouble managing emotions can make falling in love or starting a relationship an even bumpier ride. That said, not all kids with ADHD struggle in the same way, or to the same degree.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags. Here, learn how to spot signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc. Disrespectful. Financial abuse or dishonesty.
During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner. This sends the message that the new partner is the center of the person's world. It typically generates feelings of connection, love and validation, and the relationship seems to grow quickly.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
These specific symptoms can impact how you relate to your partner: Inattention: Adults with ADHD can lose focus during conversations, which leaves the partner feeling devalued. Inattention can also lead to mindlessly agreeing to things that you later forget. This can be frustrating and lead to resentment.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
The biggest shock to ADHD relationships comes with the transition from courtship to marriage. Typically, a person with ADHD hyperfocuses on their partner in the early stages of a dating. They makes them feel like the center of their world. When the hyperfocus stops, the relationship changes dramatically.
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
Support and/or service swapping is a common way of showing love for people with ADHD. Maybe you struggle with your laundry but you're great at taxes (wait, who is?), offer this trade up with your loved one, or offer to do it outright!
ADHD brains crave stimulation, and they just might chase relationship drama to get it. Next time you catch yourself (or your partner) falling into these common traps — outlined here by Dr. Daniel Amen — take a step back and re-evaluate.
People with ADHD often have difficulty with self-regulation and other executive function skills. They may say or do things impulsively without thinking through whether it will hurt someone's feelings. When their impulsivity upsets others, they often feel bad, because the intent wasn't to hurt anybody.
Individuals with ADHD exhibit behavior that is often seen as impulsive, disorganized, aggressive, overly sensitive, intense, emotional, or disruptive.