People are often drawn to mistreating partners because of familiarity with painful dynamics from childhood, creating a subconscious pattern, or trauma bonding, where abuse becomes linked with love; other reasons include low self-esteem, a need to "fix" or rescue the partner, empathic tendencies, poor boundaries, or a desire to replay past hurts in hopes of healing them differently, known as a compulsion to repeat. This unconscious drive seeks what feels normal, even if unhealthy, often stemming from early experiences with caregivers.
We are drawn to what feels familiar. If we grew up in environments where love came with strings attached, emotional inconsistency, or neglect, our brains may confuse instability with affection. Familiar doesn't mean safe — it just means known.
3-6-9 rule is 3 months honeymoon phase of the relationship 6 months is conflict stage, 9 months is the decision phase is this really worth pursuing or not.
For instance, if you had a parent that mistreated you and still stated that they loved you, you might've developed the idea from an early age that mistreatment is a part of love. Therefore, you seek out romantic partners that treat you the same way (or worse) because that's what you know love to be.
Craving attention from someone who hurt you is driven by attachment biology, intermittent reward patterns, cognitive biases (sunk cost, dissonance), learned attachment styles, and social needs for validation and belonging.
Your unconscious is programmed to attract people who activate your wounds. The reason for this is so you'll grow. This is a frustrating part of the growth process! But think of it this way: You're replaying your wounds so you can finally heal them.
The 2-2-2 rule in love is a relationship guideline to keep connections strong by scheduling regular, dedicated time together: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years, helping couples prioritize each other and break daily routines to maintain intimacy and fun.
The 777 dating rule is a relationship strategy for intentional connection, suggesting couples schedule a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months to keep the spark alive, build memories, and prevent disconnection from daily life. It's about consistent, quality time, not necessarily grand gestures, and focuses on undivided attention to strengthen intimacy and partnership over time.
Fraysexual means experiencing strong sexual attraction to strangers or people you don't know well, with that attraction fading as emotional intimacy or familiarity grows; it's essentially the opposite of demisexuality, where connection comes before attraction, and it's considered part of the asexual spectrum, sometimes called ignotasexuality. Fraysexual individuals often prefer emotionless or low-emotion sexual encounters and find their desire decreases with emotional closeness, though they can still form romantic bonds.
The "3 E's of Narcissism" refer to three core traits often seen in individuals with narcissistic tendencies: Empathy impairment, a profound lack of understanding or sharing of others' feelings; Entitlement, a belief they deserve special treatment and admiration; and Exploitation, using others for personal gain without guilt. These characteristics highlight how narcissists often struggle to connect emotionally, feel superior, and manipulate people to meet their own needs.
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
However in Strauss' book, the three second rule is a very different concept. It refers to the idea that when guys see a woman they fancy, they have three seconds to approach her, make eye contact, or strike up a conversation before she loses interest - or he bottles it.
The 7-7-7 rule is a structured method for couples to regularly reconnect, involving a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a kid-free vacation every 7 months.
Emophilia means the tendency to fall in love quickly, easily, and frequently, often described as "emotional promiscuity," where individuals rapidly develop intense romantic feelings, say "I love you" early, and jump into relationships, sometimes overlooking red flags for the exhilarating experience of new love. It's a personality trait linked to chasing excitement and romantic stimulation, differing from attachment anxiety (fear-based) by being a reward-seeking approach. High emophilia can lead to risky behaviors, unhealthy attachments, and difficulty forming stable relationships, according to Psychology Today.
In a relationship, pocketing means one partner keeps the other hidden from their friends, family, and social life, treating them like a secret or something kept "in their pocket" rather than integrating them into their world, often signaling a lack of commitment or shame. This involves avoiding introductions, keeping the relationship off social media, and making excuses for why the partner can't meet important people, making the hidden partner feel isolated and questioning their worth.
Symbiosexuality refers to an attraction to the dynamic energy between people in an existing relationship. It's different from other sexualities, which tend to involve attraction to individuals. Symbiosexuality is observed across a wide range of ages, socio-economic backgrounds, and gender identities.
Abrosexuality describes a sexual orientation that is fluid and changes over time. This means an abrosexual person's attractions to different genders, or even their level of sexual interest, can shift over days, weeks, months, or years.
Hypersexuality Warning Signs
Skoliosexual describes attraction to transgender, genderqueer, and/or non-binary individuals, focusing on those outside the traditional male/female gender binary, though its meaning is debated, with some finding it empowering to name this specific attraction and others finding the term problematic due to its Greek root meaning "bent" or "crooked" and preferring broader terms like pansexuality or ceterosexuality (attraction to non-binary people specifically).
“The idea is that you go on a date every 2 weeks, spend a weekend away together every 2 months, and take a week vacation together every 2 years.”
In general, between 4-10 is considered to be an average number of sexual partners for adult men and women. Ideas of what is too many, too few, or the "right" number of sexual partners vary from person to person.
Take them in the spirit in which they are offered—as a a lens to think about your own relationship. This blog is part of a series on the five Cs: Chemistry, Commonality, Constructive Conflict, Courtesy and Commitment.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship strategy designed to help couples maintain closeness by creating regular moments of connection. The concept is simple: every two weeks, go on a date; every two months, plan a weekend getaway; and every two years, go on a longer trip together.
While Jesus makes it plain that divorce and remarriage without biblical grounds is sinfully adulterous (Matt. 19:9; cf. 1 Cor. 7:10–11), he also acknowledges that those who are divorced are truly divorced (not still married in God's eyes) and those who have remarried are truly married.