Low self-esteem is often at the root of meanness or bad behavior. People who are hurting and who think little of themselves often do and say hurtful things to others as a kind of revenge for the way they've been made to feel.
Being mean is a product of insecure self-esteem.
Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.
There can be many root causes for rudeness, such as insecurity or fear. People are often rude after being on the receiving end of rudeness. Researchers have found that “just like the common cold, common negative behaviors can spread easily and have significant consequences.” In other words… Rude is contagious!
If someone is being mean to you then it could be a way to gain control and power over a situation or you. This is often a ruse to show social control and dominance. For many, it is a coping mechanism, and reacting aggressively and saying mean things gives them some semblance of control.
The truth about mean people is that they rarely ever realize that they are mean. To them, this is just the way life works. To a mean person, everyone else is mean, as they simply don't see things the way they do.
Or we can say, “it is not about the insecurities; it is about the insecurities of having insecurities.” So, mean people are not just people who are insecure. They are people who refuse to accept the responsibility for handling their own insecurities in healthy ways and healing their wounds like grown-ups.
For the most part, it comes down to jealousy. People who are deliberately mean are so lacking in their own self-worth that they're jealous of anyone who can simply smile and be happy. They hate that they're happy because they can't be themselves.
There are various reasons why you may feel that you're engaging in mean or rude behavior, even if they're not immediately apparent to you. For example, an underlying mental health condition, a lack of social skills, cultural differences, or low self-esteem could all be potential causes.
Teachers often refer to 'the root cause' of behaviour. The root cause is the underlying reason, motivation, choice, trigger, factor or instinct that drove the student to behave in a certain manner.
Yes, people can change behaviors, but they need to first become accountable for those, and then be convinced they should (or want to) change them. Hurtful behaviors — such as lying, cheating, dismissing, or controlling — are often habits that turn into harmful behavior patterns.
“When you're older, you're more likely to have physiological irritability,” Stosny said. “That's especially true in the morning when your blood sugar is low.” If you notice your anger welling up, he suggests telling yourself, “Hey, that's just physiological. It doesn't mean anything.
Rudeness, particularly with respect to speech, is necessarily confrontational at its core. Forms of rudeness include acting inconsiderate, insensitive, deliberately offensive, impolite, obscenity, profanity and violating taboos such as deviancy.
The causes of aggression include instinct, hormonal imbalance, genetics, temperament, nurture, and stress. If there are excessively aggressive people in your life, like a loved one or coworker, you can learn to cope or deal with their behavior effectively.
A person who hates people is sometimes called a misanthrope. While it is not a mental disorder, misanthropy may sometimes be a sign of a mental health condition, such as anxiety, depression, or antisocial personality disorder.
They may simply be so self-absorbed that they are unaware of others, motivated to meet their own needs, and just oblivious even when it is at the expense of others. They may unwittingly say or do something hurtful, push their way in front of others, or disregard normal social behavior.
There could be several reasons for this. One may be that a person may have been exposed to manipulative people in their life and have a natural aversion to others who come across as too friendly. They simply don't trust friendliness, especially from someone they don't know well.
The best way to avoid rude people is to meet their acts of rudeness with kindness and then remove yourself from their presence. If you can't do this and can't walk away, try grey rocking, which involves acting as unresponsive as possible like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions when conversing.
People with toxic traits know they have them
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.