If you're autistic, you might have a hard time reading social cues that neurotypical people consider commonplace. This can lead to misunderstandings. Perhaps you overlook your loved one's irritated facial expression or tone of voice and misread their mood. Desire for consistency.
Romantic relationships can be difficult to maneuver when you're dating on the autism spectrum. Romantic relationships are complex and confusing for neurotypical people. But, for autistic people, romantic relationships are even more complex and confusing. Many people with autism crave intimacy and love.
People with autism tend to have a strong attachment to particular ways of doing and thinking about things, and it can be difficult for them to compromise or change their ways. Close relationships tend to be all about compromise—which makes it hard for both parties when one has autism.
While autistic people on average are less likely to marry or be in long-term relationships15,16, many have partners17 and relatively few report not being interested in being in a romantic relationship18.
Many of us on the spectrum also have heightened challenges with sensitivity and transition, and breakups can have a negative effect on us both physically and mentally.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
Your autistic partner may have difficulties interpreting non-verbal communication, such as your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. They may not be able to tell from your behaviour alone that you need support or reassurance. This may be hurtful as it can come across as indifference.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged.
An autistic person will feel emotions and will want to communicate emotions to those around them. However, it is not uncommon to encounter difficulties in expressing oneself. Indeed, people with autism spectrum disorder will encounter certain obstacles in recognizing various facial expressions.
While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.
In all, the findings from research suggest that children with autism are capable of forming secure attachments with their caregivers. However, it also suggests that autistic children may be more prone to developing an insecure attachment than typically developing children.
Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%.