Overthinking Is Rooted In Insecurity Overthinking in a relationship often has its roots in your past. There was most likely someone you deeply cared about but the relationship didn't work out the way you hoped. You may not have known why the relationship failed and you may have felt abandoned.
Since you are always stressing about one thing or another, you struggle to live in the present moment. In fact, overthinking can kill the joy of dating, meeting new people and enjoying what the current moment has to offer. Overthinking can make you assume negative consequences and jump to false conclusions.
It is normal for most people to experience some level of unease or worry about their relationship at times, however for others this is more intense and enduring.
Relationship OCD (sometimes called R-OCD) is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder in which people experience intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors related to their relationship with their romantic partner. The condition can create repetitive thoughts that center on doubts or fears about the relationship.
Relationship OCD, or rOCD, is a newly recognized type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that is primarily concerned with fears and doubts about one's relationship, typically of an intimate or romantic nature.
Overthinking in a relationship is often due to a poor understanding of your own needs. When you begin to overthink something that is happening in your relationship, ask yourself, “what need do I currently have that is going unmet?” This can help you communicate with your partner.
Overthinkers may put so much heart and soul into their relationships that they become concerned about the future. They may also end up assuming negative outcomes and jumping to incorrect conclusions, which can lead to arguments with their partners. They do obsess over the minutest of the details.
Symptoms of relationship anxiety may include self-silencing and excessive reassurance-seeking. People with relationship anxiety may also crave acceptance from their partner and fear rejection. These symptoms can negatively impact the relationship over time.
The core cause of insecurities in a relationship is often a lack of self-love. If one partner holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely – and trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Make it a point to pause, take a deep breath, process the situation, understand that there's no threat, and then react mindfully, so that you don't say or do things that you'll later regret. Share your feelings with your partner: Have an honest discussion with your partner where you explain what you're feeling and why.
Reassurance itself is normal in any relationship. The occasional words of comfort can feel pretty good and natural, and might be expected of anyone periodically. When sought out continually, however, there might be more beneath the surface.
People who overthink tend to score high in the neurotic department. Neuroticism is one of the five big personality traits, along with openness, conscientiousness, extraversion and agreeableness. It's linked to anxiety, fear, moodiness, worry, envy and frustration.
We might become overly self-sufficient and fearful of getting too close, “learning” that people aren't to be relied upon or trusted. But if you're the kind of person who needs a lot of reassurance in your relationships, you likely have an anxious attachment style.
Doubt is a perfectly normal part of any relationship. It becomes problematic, though, when we avoid resolving it. You've heard it before, but it's worth repeating: Pretty much everything in a relationship boils down to communication, Batshaw says.
Some people with relationship anxiety go even further than looking for reasons to break up, and actually sabotage the relationship. This stems from a fear that “things won't work out anyway.” If this is the case, reflect on what is motivating you to do so.
Many people feel that they may become trapped in a relationship. This fear can stem from trauma, attachment problems early in life, low self-esteem, and feeling smothered in a relationship. There's no “right way” to do relationships, and you may be pressuring yourself without realizing it.
The proposed new diagnosis defines a relational disorder as "persistent and painful patterns of feelings, behaviors, and perceptions" among two or more people in an important personal relationship, such a husband and wife, or a parent and children.
It's perfectly normal to have times of worry or doubt, but if you look back and see that you're spending more time feeling insecure than happy or fulfilled, this is a clear sign of relationship anxiety.
Yes, it's possible to convince yourself to stay with someone because they're a great person. The question to ask is: How do you feel about them when your heart is open and you're not in an anxious state? That's the baseline barometer; anything else is what happens when fear is in the driver's seat.
Confusion about love is incredibly common, whether you're heartsick over a potential partner or just unsure about how to express your feelings. If you're experiencing uncertainty when it comes to love and romance, one of the most effective solutions is to try to reflect on your own feelings, wants, and desires.