Unless they have chosen to be seated beforehand, the family comes next, chief mourner(s) first, walking with whomever he or she chooses. Close friends may follow, completing the procession. The family and pallbearers occupy the front rows, with friends filling vacant places on either side.
The spouse is first, accompanied by children. Parents and siblings would be next, followed by extended family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc). Where should immediate family sit at a funeral? The immediate family members sit in the front rows.
Funeral procession order
The officiant will usually lead the procession and pallbearers carrying the coffin tend to follow. Immediate family and close friends will often walk behind the coffin, followed by other guests.
The front rows are for the immediate family so sit nearer the back if you did not know the person very well. However, if there are few mourners present then sit nearer to the front. It does not matter which side of the 'aisle' you sit.
The processional is led by the officiant and is followed by the pallbearers who carry the casket. Next, the family and kin to the deceased walk down the aisle, followed by close friends as they take their seats in the first few rows. A funeral recessional marks the end of the funeral service.
From walking down the aisle first to last, the traditional order is: Mother of Bride, Mother of Groom, Grandparents of Bride, Grandparents of Groom, Groom, Officiant, the Wedding Party, Maid of Honor and Best Man, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl and lastly the Bride and her Father.
The processions usually begin with the funeral director walking in front of the hearse for a short distance. This is not only a mark of respect to the person who has died, but gives family and friends time to join the procession in their vehicles.
Typically, members of the immediate family stand in the receiving line at a funeral. The immediate family typically includes the spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws of the deceased. If the deceased had a large family, this could make for a rather lengthy receiving line.
Traditional funeral roles
Typically, you will need someone to lead the ceremony, known as the officiant. This is usually a religious leader or someone else with experience leading funerals.
In the front row were Sarah Brown, Gordon Brown, Cherie Blair, Sir Tony Blair, Lady Norma Major and Sir John Major.
If the funeral is in a church or other place of worship, the coffin will be transported to a burial ground or crematorium after the service. In this situation, the coffin is carried out first, then the funeral director escorts immediate family outside.
Legally, it is up to the deceased's executor or personal representative to make decisions about their funeral and burial, although executors often feel morally bound to follow the testator's wishes.
The funeral ceremony starts with guests entering the church or chapel and taking their seats. It is recommended that guests arrive about 15-20 minutes early. There is then a small procession down the main aisle of the church by the immediate family and the pallbearers who are carrying the casket.
If someone dies while not in medical or hospice care, call 911. When paramedics arrive, they will generally start resuscitation. If the person has a “do not resuscitate order,” present that to the paramedics when they arrive.
A visitation usually lasts a few hours, but it's more of a come-and-go event. Guests are not obligated to stay throughout and can arrive and leave anytime. General etiquette dictates that if you're a close friend, you should stay a few hours to show your support and help. If you're not, 15 – 20 minutes is okay.
While the primary and paramount right to possession of the body and control of the burial or is vested in the surviving spouse, the right of a surviving spouse to control the burial is dependent on the peculiar circumstances of each case, and may be waived by consent or otherwise.
The Funeral Service
Expect service to last between half an hour to one hour; longer for public figures, or if there are lengthy readings or speeches. A clergy member or other officiant presides over the funeral service, and a printed program is generally provided to guests.
Choosing pallbearers
Pallbearers can be almost anyone – grandchildren, siblings, close friends – as long as they are physically able to carry the coffin and walk steadily. Sometimes coffins can be carried on a trolley, which makes it easier for the pallbearers. You should discuss this with your funeral director.
After a funeral, it is often the kind words of comfort from the people who attended that the family remembers for a long time. Sometimes we are truly lost for words and cannot bring ourselves to say something personal because we fear that we may break down or upset the bereaved person.
While this might be clear-cut for close family, it's not always obvious when it comes to an ex-partner's funeral. In general, since you are no longer part of the close family, you should sit towards the back in the friend section. The only exception to this is if you have shared children with your ex.
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way.
Prince Richard, the Duke of Gloucester, is the late Queen's first cousin and a full-time working member of the Royal Family. His parents were Prince Henry, Duke of Gloucester (King George VI's brother), and Princess Alice, Duchess of Gloucester.
The formality of this outfit is both a mark of respect for the deceased, and it also plays a practical role in making the Funeral Director easily identifiable to the family and other mourners. 'Every time you put on your tails, and your top hat, and your cane,' Robert says, 'you're almost putting on a costume.
So why do Funeral Directors bow at coffins? Respect. The aim when working with any family is to show their loved one as much dignity and respect as possible. Even though this person may not be walking on this earth any longer does not mean that they deserve any less respect.