People with mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, major depression, or even depressive tendencies, may be particularly susceptible to toxic relationships since they are already sensitive to negative emotions.
Moreover, women may be more willing to give up on troubled relationships despite strong emotional investment. Consistent with this, men have strong concerns about missing a romantic relationship associated with reduced intention to end it (Hendy, Can, Joseph, and Scherer 2013).
"Those who have low self-esteem — feelings of insecurity and unworthiness — or those who are going through a difficult time in their lives — a big loss or an unexpected event," can also end up in a toxic relationship, she added.
Sadly, unhealthy or abusive relationships are common. A national survey found that almost 1 in 3 teens reported being verbally or psychologically abused, and 1 in 10 had been the victims of physical dating violence within the past year.
And, just because you're not toxic to one person, or in one type of relationship, doesn't mean you can't be toxic in another. It's important to be sure you're being honest about your behavior and toxic tendencies in all of your relationships, and not just your friendships or your romantic relationships.
People with toxic traits know they have them
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
A toxic person is someone who regularly displays actions and behaviors that hurt others or otherwise negatively impact the lives of the people around them, and they're usually the main instigating factor of a toxic relationship.
Survivors may leave and return several times before permanently separating from their abusive partner. In fact, research shows that it can take approximately 7 attempts before a survivor permanently leaves an abusive partner.
Of course, this may be a positive thing if those connections were stable, loving and secure. Less so if our emotional needs went unmet… That's why if you have a pattern of falling into toxic relationships, it could be a sign you're re-enacting old childhood trauma.
You Lack Self-Respect and Don't Set Boundaries
If you don't respect yourself and know what you value in life, you won't have any boundaries in place. This lets toxic people walk all over you like a doormat, and it's like a big invitation sign for them to take advantage of you.
In other words, they aged less than what would be considered normal. Not surprisingly, people in low-quality relationships with instances of abuse aged quickest, adding approximately 1.2 years of age for every calendar year of the study.
Despite a lingering stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, researchers have discovered that it's men, in fact, who suffer the greater emotional impact during a breakup.
They may look stronger and braver than women, but men suffer the most when a relationship is rocky, a new study has claimed.
Research shows that women have a harder time coping with a breakup, but the guys are the ones who feel more stress and strain when the relationship hits a rough patch, researchers found. On the upside, men also get more of a psychological and emotional boost when the relationship is healthy.
You have a toxic girlfriend when she picks fights more than she expresses affection. It's when she bursts out in anger on the most trivial issues. She becomes irrationally jealous of any girl that you talk to. You have had an experience where she would even get jealous of your friends and workmates.
You tend to manipulate things
Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you're doing any of these things, you're clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner's love and respect for you.
You show no emotions
Even if it's not your intent, remaining stone-faced or unresponsive toward your loved one can make them doubt your true feelings and lead to a toxic relationship. “People who don't respond or under-respond are toxic to their partners,” says Dr. Tatkin.
Toxic people are controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. A narcissist will use gaslighting to make you feel confused and insecure. They will use every opportunity to shame you and isolate you from other people. Also, a narcissist will always play a victim and make you feel guilty.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people. They Abuse Substances.
The most destructive relationship behaviours are those the Gottmann Institute has deemed the 'Four Horsemen' – criticism, defensiveness, contempt (eye-rolling, disgust, dismissal or ridiculing), stonewalling, and the silent treatment. Of these, contempt has been shown to be the greatest predictor of divorce.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.
If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn't respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.