While men report higher rates of infidelity overall, and certain demographics like divorced individuals or specific age groups show higher tendencies, statistics vary, but men (especially younger-to-middle aged) and people with less religious belief or less stable relationships tend to report higher rates of cheating, though women's rates are rising, with phones and digital trails often being the key to discovery rather than being caught "red-handed".
Men were found to be only "somewhat" more likely than women to engage in infidelity, with rates for both sexes becoming increasingly similar. Another study found that the likelihood of women being involved in infidelity reached a peak in the seventh year of their marriage and then declined afterward.
In fact, affairs are more common than you'd think. An estimated 60% of men and 45% of women have had an affair within their marriage.
Over 56 percent of European and American men and women said their past partners never found out about their infidelity or temptations – and they weren't about to enlighten them. The group most likely to be caught in the act was American men, with nearly 22 percent saying their partner found out.
Studies show that men tend to cheat more often than women in marriages. About 20% of married men cheat, compared to 13% of married women. This gender gap in infidelity has been consistent across various research findings.
The 80/20 rule in relationships explains cheating as the temptation to abandon a solid partner (80% good) for someone new who seems to offer the missing 20% of needs, a pursuit often leading to regret as the new person lacks the original 80%. Infidelity often arises from focusing on flaws (the 20%) rather than appreciating the substantial good (the 80%), making an affair partner seem appealing for fulfilling that small gap, but ultimately resulting in losing the valuable foundation of the primary relationship.
The workplace is where most affairs begin. It doesn't hurt that we usually dress nicely and are on “good behavior” at work. Plus, having shared passions about projects (or mutual annoyance at a boss or co-worker) provides the perfect breeding ground for an affair.
The 7-7-7 rule is a structured method for couples to regularly reconnect, involving a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a kid-free vacation every 7 months.
Cheating on a partner doesn't always mean love is gone.
Many who cheat still feel love for their partner and guilt for the infidelity. Cheating can stem from emotional distance, insecurity, or the fear of missing out. Addiction, stress, or past trauma can drive infidelity without negating love.
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%
There isn't one single "best" predictor of cheating; rather, it's a combination of factors, with relationship dissatisfaction, low sexual satisfaction, mismatched sexual desire, and poor communication being the strongest predictors, often alongside individual traits like insecure attachment styles, impulsivity, and a history of infidelity. Ultimately, a lack of emotional connection and unresolved relationship issues significantly increase the risk, according to this Psychology Today article, this National Institutes of Health article, and this Medium article.
After cheating, a guy might act distant and secretive (hiding his phone, staying out late) or overly attentive out of guilt, often becoming defensive, irritable, or starting arguments. He might change his routine, appearance, or habits, developing new interests or sudden hygiene changes, and often shows emotional withdrawal, resentment, or stonewalling when confronted, with signs varying based on his personality and feelings about the affair.
These top issues that married couples face are financial struggles, parenting conflict, and family drama. These 3 issues seem to be the normal issues presented in therapy and they are very common in my practice today.
In general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey(GSS).
Occupational data from the GSS tells a nuanced story about infidelity. Men in high-prestige occupations—think CEOs, physicians and surgeons—are generally more likely than others to have cheated on their spouse.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
Soft cheating (or micro-cheating) involves subtle, often digital, behaviors that cross relationship boundaries and breach trust without being full-blown infidelity, like excessive social media interaction with others, hiding messages, or maintaining secretive contact with an ex, often stemming from a need for validation but eroding intimacy and causing insecurity.
The 2-2-2 relationship rule is a guideline for couples to keep their bond strong and fresh by scheduling regular, dedicated time together: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years, which helps prioritize connection, break routine, and create lasting memories. It's a framework to ensure consistent quality time, even with busy schedules, to prevent boredom and strengthen partnership.
For instance, they might say something like, “Well, if you weren't so distant all the time, I wouldn't have done it.” Or, “I only did it because our sex life has been so dull lately.” They might also try to blame the person they had an affair with.
Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.
Number 7 and Number 4 can choose each other for the relationship. They can make a good bonding.
You know you're falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together.
In most cases, affairs end peacefully and in secret. By their very nature, there is not much of a commitment to hold them together, and a desire to do the "right thing" is usually the excuse an unfaithful spouse uses to end it. But the real reason is usually that the affair has become more trouble than it's worth.
Men still cheat more than women overall, but the gender gap is narrowing among younger generations. Infidelity rates peak at different age ranges for men (60-69) and women (50-59), showing age-specific patterns. Both psychological factors and relationship dynamics influence cheating behavior across all demographics.
The 3 Stages of an Affair
Carder says many studies suggest an emotional affair is just as painful for wives. In fact, he says emotional affairs become more painful as the infidelity moves through its multiple stages. The first stage is the mood-altering effect when a man sees the other woman or a message from her.