Obsession with a person often stems from deep-seated emotional needs, trauma, or insecurity, where the person becomes an idealized solution to loneliness, low self-esteem, or past wounds, triggering intense dopamine-driven reward cycles similar to addiction, often manifesting as limerence, a state of involuntary fixation and idealization. It can be rooted in childhood attachment issues, fear of abandonment, anxiety, or mental health conditions like OCD or BPD, creating a powerful, addictive focus on the other person as a source of fulfillment.
We become obsessed with certain people because we have fundamental neural systems that drive us into a state of infatuation, and these can be overactivated at times in our lives when we are vulnerable to the romantic potential of a person who matches our subconscious template of a desirable mate.
Other experts think there may be chemical differences within some peoples' brains that might make you more likely to have obsessions. Environmental factors may also play a role in causing obsessions, especially if you're experiencing high levels of stress.
Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is a psychological condition that presents as an overwhelming, obsessive desire to protect and possess another person. Often an inability to accept rejection further contributes to an unhealthy love relationship.
2. They enjoy their company and feel a strong connection to them, or they have a crush on them. 3. They want to control them. 4. They are afraid of abandonment. 5. They are jealous of them. 6. They want to be like them, or they want to have what they have. 7. They want to be with them all the time. 8.
Obsession triggers
For example, someone with intrusive thoughts about contamination might be triggered by seeing a dirty room. Likewise, if a person has thoughts about harming others, they could be triggered when they see objects that could cause harm, like knives.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD) includes obsessions over a close or intimate relationship or partner and may include an obsessive focus on how a partner is unreliable or untrustworthy. Obsessive distrust in a relationship may link to depression, anxiety, and violence in a relationship.
To break the cycle of obsessive thoughts, practice mindfulness techniques, focusing on the present moment rather than intrusive thoughts. Engage in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to challenge and reframe negative thinking patterns.
Limerence, an obsessive infatuation, generally progresses through stages: Attraction/Infatuation, where intense fascination begins; Obsession, marked by intrusive thoughts and analysis of the {LO's (Limerent Object)} actions; Elation/Despair, involving extreme mood swings based on perceived reciprocation (dopamine highs) or rejection (lows); and finally, Resolution/Deterioration, where the fantasy fades into stable attachment, detachment, or significant heartbreak, often leading to personal change.
Obsessive behaviors are recurring actions or thoughts that a person feels compelled to do, even if they don't want to. These can manifest as physical actions, such as repeatedly checking something, or mental activities, like constantly worrying about something.
The 15-Minute Rule for OCD is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) technique where you delay performing a compulsion for 15 minutes when an obsessive thought triggers anxiety, allowing the urge to lessen naturally as you practice exposure and response prevention (ERP). It teaches your brain that discomfort decreases without the ritual, building resilience and breaking the obsessive-compulsive cycle by gradually increasing tolerance for uncertainty and distressing feelings.
Indeed, Abramovitch and colleagues (2012; Abramovitch, Dar, Mittelman, & Schweiger 2013) found that while obsessions and compulsions may be linked with ADHD symptoms and executive dysfunction among individuals with OCD, the two constructs seem to be unrelated in people with subclinical levels of obsessive-compulsive ...
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of psychotherapy, is effective for many people with OCD . Exposure and response prevention (ERP), a part of CBT therapy, involves exposing you over time to a feared object or obsession, such as dirt.
“Obsession is an unhealthy preoccupation with a partner or crush. It's often one-sided and driven by a desire for control or possession,” says Deborah Gilman, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist at Fox Chapel Psychological Services. “This can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, and stalking behaviors.”
2.3% Obsessions are persistent unwanted thoughts, mental images, or urges that generate feelings of anxiety, disgust, or discomfort. Some common obsessions include fear of contamination, obsession with symmetry, the fear of acting blasphemously, sexual obsessions, and the fear of possibly harming others or themselves.
Getting Over an Obsession
Strengthen your relationships with others to focus on real-world connections that make you feel great. Practice mindfulness to live in the moment and focus on the tasks that you're doing instead of your obsession.
What Are the Signs of Obsession With Someone?
Why am I obsessed with someone who doesn't want me? Obsessing over someone who does not want you can be a sign of an unhealthy attachment pattern. This could be due to unmet emotional needs or unresolved past experiences that have shaped your beliefs about relationships.
Limerence is an involuntary state of intense obsession, fixation and attachment to another person — also known as a “limerent object” (LO). These intense feelings, which are not returned, often stem from unresolved relationships or unrequited love. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov developed the concept in the late 1970s.
OCD can affect men, women and children. People can start having symptoms from as early as 6 years old, but it often begins around puberty and early adulthood. OCD can be distressing and significantly interfere with your life, but treatment can help you keep it under control.
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
A date night every 7 days An overnight trip every 7 weeks A vacation (kid free) every 7 months.
Practicing Non-Attachment for Healthier Relationships