Usually when a person with BPD pulls away from someone, it is indicative of their level of attachment and emotions towards you. So if you have been “froze out” by someone with BPD, chances are that you mean a great deal to them.
Push/Pull behaviors
A common theory about why you might use this behavior if you have BPD is because you desperately crave closeness in your relationships but, fearing abandonment, you choose to reject this person before they can reject you.
People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions, which can lead to impulsive and unpredictable behavior. If your partner is pushing you away, try to stay calm and focused. Remind yourself that this is not about you, and that your partner is likely experiencing a great deal of pain.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Emotional detachment is a common core feature of quiet BPD. Instead of feeling everything intensely, they may feel nothing at all. Emotional detachment in quiet BPD is often linked to structural dissociation, specifically due to the creation of a persona that is unfeeling.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy.
Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior.
Once the initial breakup has happened, it's not uncommon for the situation to become much more volatile in some cases. There can be more consistent triggers, gaslighting attempts, manipulation and emotional outbursts. BPD relationships will always work in some form of cycle.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
Rejection sensitivity is the tendency to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to rejection. For individuals with BPD, these reactions to real or perceived rejection can be extreme and often escalate symptoms such as emotional dysregulation, impulsive behaviors, and unstable relationships.
If you have a partner with BPD, they test because the beginning of the relationship is over, and now that you're not fawning over them every second, they're very afraid of losing you. They may be biting just to see how long you stay. Meanwhile, you're not passing the test.
There are so many reasons that people refuse to get help. Many are afraid of the stigma attached to mental health issues. Others feel they cannot commit the time and/or financial resources required to engage in therapy.
It's characterized by unstable moods and emotions, which affect relationships and behaviors. As a result, friendships with people with BPD can be rocky. Sometimes, people with BPD engage in behaviors that can seem manipulative, mean-spirited, or destructive.
Fear of Abandonment
Physical touch can be interpreted as a sign of intimacy and closeness. For someone with BPD, who struggles with a fear of abandonment, touch might stir up feelings of vulnerability and fear, leading to avoiding physical contact.
Stonewalling may also be a direct result of a disorder, such as borderline personality disorder or narcissism that causes someone to manipulate others by freezing them out. This behavior also becomes manipulative when, despite evidence, a person denies they are stonewalling someone.
As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.
The silent treatment is more common in narcissism. When someone with BPD goes silent, it is not to punish the other person or to feel in control. It is because the situation evokes an early traumatic experience. The destructive and hurtful behaviours are a reaction to deep emotional pain.
The other reason someone with BPD might ghost you is if you offended them in a major way and instead of fighting you about it (which they might have thought if they said anything, things would lead there), they blocked and ghosted you. Again, sometimes those of us with BPD know no middle ground or gray area.
Borderline splitting can burn bridges in relationships when they act in ways to make their partner pay for it or punish them, being spiteful when they perceive they are being hurt or mistreated. When they break up, they often forget the positive things about their partner, until the partner has gone.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
The actions of people who have BPD can indeed feel manipulative. However, the word 'manipulative', with its pejorative suggestions of malicious scheming, does not capture the true nature of BPD-spurred behavior.
Deep passion. People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.