If your partner continues to see the person with whom they cheated, it can be really hard to heal and move forward together. This can be a sign that they don't consider your feelings and the impact the affair had on you. If that is the case, it's a good reason to walk away and know your worth.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Ultimately, there is no set formula for whether you should stay together or not. You and your partner will need to decide both individually and together if there are enough positive elements in your relationship to make the difficult work of healing worthwhile.
In Rules' professional opinion there are signs you can look out for to gage if the relationship is worth saving, “A willingness to communicate, to make time for discussion and repair, and willingness to manage avoidance and conflict are useful,” she says.
The final stage of grief from a cheating spouse is acceptance. This will only happen once you fully acknowledge that your partner has betrayed you by having an affair. Acceptance can happen whether or not you have forgiven your spouse. In addition, you do not have to feel okay either.
Many professionals have seen marriages not only survive infidelity but become better than before. It is true that a marriage can survive an extra-marital affair. But, this will only happen if both partners are willing to acquire and use the skills necessary to make their marriage successful.
Affair recovery is the process of healing a relationship mentally, emotionally, and physically after it has experienced infidelity. Affair recovery usually takes anywhere from six months to two years and is often a painful process yet a possible one for couples who possess humility, compassion, and tenacity.
The strength to heal a marriage after an affair is something to be proud of. It's not for the weak or faint of heart. Daring to make your own choice and do what you really want is to be commended and respected. This is neither weakness nor low self-esteem.
Signs Your Partner Is Truly Remorseful
Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain. It's about both words and actions.
Give yourself some space.
And Vasia Toxavidi, a psychotherapist and counsellor with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, agrees: “Some controlling may take place by the partner who has been cheated on due to loss of trust, but it is important for that person to focus and take care of themselves.”
Both sexes forgive similarly
Despite experiencing the different types of infidelity differently, men and women are about equally willing to forgive their partner. And the new findings show that the degree of forgiveness is not related to the type of infidelity.
Long-term affairs are infinitely harder to forgive and forget than a one-night stand. No matter how you frame it in your mind, a long-term affair is a real relationship built by two people.
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
In the wake of the discovery of an affair, you are likely to experience a wide range of thoughts and feelings, ranging from numb (non-feeling) to feeling completely out of control and 'crazy'. This is the result of Post Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD).
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
Men in their 60s report having a higher rate of infidelity (24%), with the number still increasing until ages 70-79, with 26% of men cheating on their partners. Women, on the other hand, have the highest rate of infidelity in their 60s (16%), but the number goes down as they approach their 70s (13%) and 80s (6%).
It does. It is possible to get over the pain and guilt and move on. However, learning how to stop feeling guilty about cheating wouldn't come easy. Sometimes you will think about what you've done, and you just want to forget about it.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
Your partner may try to escape distressing feelings about the infidelity by drinking, drugging, binge eating, or spending, among other escapist behaviors. They might also want to escape from you, emotionally and perhaps physically withdrawing from you. Regression into past pain.