When should you start sleep training? Dr. Schwartz recommends to begin sleeping training when your baby is about four months old. At this age, babies are typically old enough to learn to self soothe, and may no longer require night feedings.
The best time to start sleep training is soon after your baby is 2 months old. Most children will sleep their longest stretches during the night hours by this age.
While most babies can learn to sleep on their own when they're between 4–6 months old, they need someone to guide them. Fortunately, there are several sleep training techniques to help your little one learn to fall asleep (without relying on your nightly nursery performances).
The 5 3 3 rule is a sleep training method that involves setting specific intervals for sleep. The method involves having the child sleep for 5 hours, followed by 3 hours of awake time, and then 3 hours of sleep again.
Your little one will sleep through the night eventually, regardless of whether or not sleep training has taken place. Many babies start sleeping for longer stretches at night around 8 or 9 months, and you can certainly help support this milestone with a few strategies.
Because of this “cry-it-out” sleep training can be damaging to a rapidly growing brain – and to a growing psyche. Researchers have documented how, with sleep training, infants' fight and flight instincts activate in the face of extensive distress, such as being left without comforting physical touch.
Is sleep training safe? There has been ample long-term research studying sleep training, and there is no evidence that sleep training is physically or psychologically damaging to babies and children.
It is a common misconception that if you want your baby to sleep well, you have to do some form of sleep training, but we're here to tell you this isn't the case! Many babies, and especially those under 3-4 months of age, are perfectly capable of achieving good sleep without any formal sleep training.
If your baby cries for you, experts suggest that you let her cry for a short interval of between two minutes and 10 minutes, before going to comfort her. You can gently pat and reassure her while she's still in her cot or pick her up and put her down again.
But there are two main issues with both variations of this sleep training. Babies can become distressed during longer periods of crying, with raised levels of stress hormones. In addition, not responding to a baby's cries goes against everything we know about building positive attachment relationships.
It's OK to let your baby cry if the baby doesn't seem sick and you've tried everything to soothe your baby. You can try to leave your baby alone in a safe place, such as a crib, for about 10 to 15 minutes. Many babies need to cry before they can fall asleep. And they'll nod off faster if you leave them to cry.
TLDR; yes, it is normal and typically not something to be concerned about. You've heard it from us before, and we will continue to assert that crying is absolutely a normal, unavoidable part of having a baby.
3-4 Months
By 3 to 4 months, infants are forming a nighttime sleep cycle. They're more sociable, don't usually suffer from separation anxiety, and start snoozing better. However, most 3- and 4-month-olds aren't developmentally ready to self-soothe, so sleep training may be difficult.
He says for most methods of extinction-based sleep training, including the Ferber method, babies usually cry the hardest on the second or third night. This is referred to as an extinction burst, and it's often when many parents give up on the method.
Is the cry it out method harmful or safe for babies? There are no data to support that the cry it out method is harmful in the short term or long term. On the contrary, a 2020 study found that babies who were sleep trained using a graduated extinction method showed increased security and attachment after the program.
Here's how it works: After your usual bedtime routine (bath, milk, story etc) lay your child in her cot, give him a simple goodnight message, such as 'night night, sleepy time now', and leave the room. If (or more likely when) your child cries, wait for two minutes before returning. After two minutes, go back in.
A baby "should simply be allowed to 'cry it out'. This often requires an hour, and in extreme cases, two or three hours. A second struggle will seldom last more than 10 or 15 minutes and a third will rarely be necessary."
Pick-up/put-down method
Simply pick up your baby whenever they cry, soothe them briefly, then put them back down, drowsy but awake. Repeat these steps until the little one falls asleep. The key is to gradually teach your child that you are close and they are safe, so they can fall asleep on their own.
You can help your baby learn to self-soothe by establishing a consistent bedtime routine. This can include activities such as a warm bath, gentle massage, and soothing music or white noise. Consistency is key, as it helps your baby know what to expect and can cue their body that it is time to sleep.
Most babies don't start sleeping through the night (6 to 8 hours) without waking until they are about 3 months old, or until they weigh 12 to 13 pounds. About two-thirds of babies are able to sleep through the night on a regular basis by age 6 months.
The cry it out (CIO) method is a type of sleep training that involves putting your baby to bed while they're still awake and letting them cry until they fall asleep without any help from you. The same principle applies if baby wakes up in the middle of the night; the goal is for them to be able to self-soothe.
Crying During Sleep Training
There is no arbitrary amount of crying that means a child has cried “too much.” Your child should be given the amount of time and space they need in order to figure out how to fall asleep on their own.