According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.
If that doesn't work, Steve suggests appealing to the "three Ps"—profess, provide and protect.
In addition to Dr. John Gottman's Four Horsemen that includes criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness, there are four other predictors of the dissolution of a relationship: resistance, resentment, rejection, and repression.
The seven-year itch or 7-year itch refers to the notion that divorce rates reach their height around the seven-year mark of commitment. While this concept has been widely disputed, it is a concern that plagues many if they start experiencing marital issues seven years into their relationship.
The survey found that many couples struggle in year five, when kids and flourishing careers make competing demands on a couple's relationship. The survey also found that the seven year itch is a real thing; couples reported that seven years in is “the wall,” which, if scaled, bodes well for a long marriage.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
Some of the most common include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children.
The average length of a marriage in the US is 19.9 years.
While the national average marriage length is just under 20 years, couples in Maine and West Virginia typically have the longest-lasting unions. The typical marriage in these lasts for 22.3 years.
Couples experiencing the seven year itch disagree with each other more, become less affectionate, share fewer activities, and express overall dissatisfaction with their marriages, says Kurdek, whose study was published in the September 1999 issue of the journal Developmental Psychology.
The longest marriage recorded (although not officially recognized) is a granite wedding anniversary (90 years) between Karam and Kartari Chand, who both lived in the United Kingdom, but were married in India.
One's late twenties and early thirties, from an emotional perspective, are therefore the worst part of life. It's during these years that people experience the most negative thoughts and feelings and experience the most mind wandering, a psychological state that has been shown to be detrimental to well-being.
Research has found the most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse.
Lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the leading causes of divorce in the world. But your age and culture may change it all. Relationship survival usually requires a blend of open communication, intimacy, and empathy.
Is it Real? Yes and No. The 7-year-itch might be more aptly named 'the 4-5-year itch” because in reality, divorce rates peak at around 4-5 years after marriage (Fisher, 1989; Kulu, 2014) and then steadily decline. There are a few theories on why this happens.
Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
For most people, the honeymoon phase lasts between six months and two years, but there is no hard and fast rule for how long you should be in this phase.
The 7-year itch is a psychological term for a milestone in a relationship, after which the bond starts to decline. No more sparks flying, no more seeing stars, no more longing for each other's touch. Couples enter a romantic slumber at this point, leaving them both feeling underappreciated and unwanted.
Using the 7 Cs as a basis for guiding assessment, chapters move through key areas of couple functioning including communication, conflict resolution, culture, commitment, caring and sex, contract, and character.
Usually, these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.