Have you ever wondered what constitutes a bad kiss? Whilst bad breath, a darting tongue and a wet sloppy kiss are rated as the biggest kissing turn-offs according to science, it might also be your smell, taste or even your pheromones that's causing the problem.
Good kissers are soft but passionate. They practice good hygiene, know how to move their lips and tongue to make the kiss feel passionate. They listen to their partners. They kiss confidently and make their partners feel wanted.
After some serious digging, the answer: yes and no.
While there are things you can do to improve someone's ability and make their kissing a little more your style, there isn't much you can do if they're not willing to change.
Very often, incompatibility in kissing heralds an incompatibility in the bedroom but, in addition, some people have an inability to be sensually – or even appropriately – tactile. Some have poor proprioception, which can make love-making more difficult.
When they start mauling your mouth, pull away slowly, count for a beat and give them a single, tender, kiss on the lips. It wouldn't hurt to say “I love being kissed really gently” or “I like going slow”. It might feel awkward, but most bad kissers really are crying out for a little instruction.
Let her know you're coming from a place of concern and wanting to make a good thing (the relationship aside from kissing/sex) better. Let her know that what is happening is preventing you from enjoying her kisses—and you so want to enjoy her kisses! Also, ask her explicitly what, specifically, she finds pleasurable.
Philemaphobia, or philematophobia, is the fear of kissing. It is common among young and inexperienced kissers who are afraid of doing something wrong. In these cases, the anxiety is generally mild to moderate and dissipates quickly as the person gains experience.
You Can Adapt Your Style
Even though everyone has different preferences when it comes to kissing, if you can adapt your technique to what your partner is into, you're likely an excellent kisser. A good kisser knows how to switch up their technique depending on who they're kissing or what stage of arousal they're in.
Kissing on the jawline is a turn on for many men. You could just move your lips and use a little bit of tongue while doing this. You can also turn on a man by licking his ears. The kiss triangle: So it begins with the lips, you move to the ears, then to the neck and back to the lips.
When you kiss someone, your body releases happy hormones. A rush of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin hits your system the moment your lips lock. With this positive cocktail and a heart-fluttering kiss, you'll feel like you're on cloud nine! Lips are one of your body's most sensually sensitive areas.
If she stiffens or pulls away, that's a sign she's not yet comfortable, and going in for a kiss now probably won't go well. If she blushes, giggles, or smiles, those are signs she's comfortable with you and would possibly be receptive to a kiss.
In John Gottman's relationship research, he was able to find that six seconds is the length of a kiss that can actually create a connection with your partner. In fact, he recommends you have at least one six-second kiss per day.
A selfish kisser. For you a kiss does not involve any kind of physical thing at all. You are usually relaxed and do not make much of it and that is a good thing but because you rarely change your style of kissing it can hamper your pleasure. You should think of your partner more often.
If it gets to this, just be light-hearted, and focus on the positives, without putting the pressure on them – for example, say you really like how things are going but you don't feel like you have the same kissing style, and ask if you can work together on that.
6 Lick Your Own Lips with Your Tongue. Don't forget to take care of your own mouth. Although licking your lips can actually dry them out in the long run, it's okay to lick them right before a kiss to make sure they're moist. Of course, if you have chapstick nearby, then try using that instead.
Some believe that kissing with tongue is a natural evolutionary progression that aids in mate choice. Others, citing cultures where kissing with tongue is not only absent but looked down upon, believe making out is a specific learned behavior that's gained popularity due to media consumption and globalization.
Gently touch your lips to your date's lips. No big SMACKS (you're not kissing your grandmother or your dog); no wide-open mouth (you're not trying to devour your partner). Just your lips, about as open as they are when you're just breathing through your mouth.
As long as you approach it tactfully (avoid comments like, "Ugh! You kiss like my uncle!") and present it in terms of what you prefer rather than what he's doing wrong, he has no reason to get his feelings hurt. If he does, it doesn't bode well for your relationship.
A bad kisser is almost always inexperienced, and/or doesn't know how to read their partner's body language. They don't understand how to work their mouth/tongue in rhythm with their partner and often get slobbery and click teeth.
A kiss might seem like a natural thing to do for most of us, but the scientific jury is still out on whether it is a learned or instinctual behaviour. Approximately 90 per cent of cultures kiss, making a strong case for the act being a basic human instinct.