Insecure-resistant (or anxious-ambivalent) attachment is a style where a child is very distressed by separation but, upon reunion, seeks comfort from the caregiver while simultaneously resisting it, showing anger or pushing away; they are clingy, anxious about caregiver availability, and struggle to explore freely due to fear. It stems from inconsistent caregiver responses, leading to a strong fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance.
Insecure-resistant refers to a type of attachment in infants characterized by anxiety about exploration and caregiver availability, leading to distress during separation and a tendency to seek contact while simultaneously resisting comfort upon reunion.
There are four specific attachment styles that represent the range of emotions in attachment theory: anxious style, avoidant style, disorganized style, and secure style.
There are a few types of insecure attachment styles: Insecure-resistant attachment style (also referred to as anxious-preoccupied): Wants closeness but fears abandonment and rejection; can be needy and clingy.
Insecure-resistant attachment is when an infant is highly distressed when separated from their caregiver and has difficulty being comforted upon reunion. They may cling to the caregiver but also show ambivalence towards their comfort.
Based on these observations, Ainsworth identified three primary attachment patterns: secure attachment, insecure-avoidant attachment, and insecure-ambivalent/resistant attachment. Later research added a fourth category, disorganized attachment.
Insecure Ambivalent/Resistant: Type C
The child is not easily comforted by the caregiver and often demonstrates clingy and dependent behaviour towards an attachment figure yet still rejects them in times of interaction.
What Is the Unhealthiest Attachment Style? Anxious attachment styles, disorganized attachment styles, and avoidant attachment styles are considered insecure/unhealthy forms of attachment.
The disorganized (or fearful-avoidant) attachment style is generally considered the hardest to love because it combines anxious and avoidant traits, creating chaotic "push-pull" dynamics where individuals crave intimacy but fear it, leading to intense instability, self-sabotage, and mistrust, often rooted in trauma. Partners struggle with the unpredictable shifts from seeking closeness to suddenly withdrawing or pushing away, making consistent, secure connection incredibly challenging, notes The Hart Centre.
In relationships, anxiously attached individuals may crave closeness but struggle with insecurity, seeking constant reassurance. While this desire for connection is natural, it can sometimes manifest as behaviors that feel controlling or manipulative to their partner.
Disorganized attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant, is the rarest of all styles, as only around 5% of the population attaches this way. This insecure attachment style mixes anxious and avoidant attachments with unique traits.
Being criticized by respected friends and loved ones
Avoidant individuals may feel triggered when criticized by loved ones, as it can activate their fear of rejection and abandonment. Avoidant individuals may struggle to accept criticism or feedback, feeling like their sense of self or independence is being threatened.
Signs of insecure attachment:
Stanton et al. (2017) suggest that individuals with insecure attachments engage in intimacy-focused activities with their partners. This study also revealed that strong communication and accommodating behaviors from the non-insecure partner can aid in shifting an insecure attachment.
Several studies have evidenced an association between insecure attachment characteristics in children and adolescence with ADHD and their clinical condition.
Insecure-avoidant- A type of attachment that describes children who tend to avoid social interaction and intimacy with others. Insecure-resistant- A type of attachment that describes those infants that both seek and reject intimacy and social interaction.
A 2019 study of over 400 adults found that insecure attachment styles, including both avoidant and anxious, significantly predicted past divorce and current relationship status. People with higher avoidance were more likely to have experienced a divorce, even when other factors like age were controlled.
I have often heard people with anxious-preoccupied attachment styles refer to themselves as empaths. This statement is usually based on their experience of having a keen and even intense awareness of emotions in themselves and others.
In both adolescents and adults, researchers have found that insecure attachment style is associated with an increased likelihood of suicide ideation or attempt compared to those with a secure attachment style (DiFilippo and Overholser, 2000; Palitsky et al., 2013; Miniati et al., 2017).
In relationship terms, The Four Horsemen are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Let's look at each of these and what you can do about them. Criticism refers to attacking or putting down your partner's personality or character rather than his or her behaviour itself.
So, is it true that people with dismissing attachment styles lie more than people with other attachment styles? Unfortunately, research indicates that the answer is yes. People with dismissing attachment styles may lie more because of their discomfort with intimacy and emotional closeness.
The belief that others will hurt them or that they can't measure causes fearful avoidant people to have various issues. Fearful avoidant attachment styles are often considered the worst in terms of adverse outcomes. For example, there is a distinct correlation between fearful avoidant attachment and depression.
Dismissive avoidant returns are also more likely to involve long stretches of time. Because they suppress emotions and don't process breakups in real time, it might be six months, a year, or even longer before they resurface.
Babies with an insecure-ambivalent/resistant attachment are clingy with their mother and don't explore or play in her presence. They are distressed when the mother leaves, and when she returns, they vacillate between clinging and angry resistance.